Living: Don’t Let Relationships, Ruts, or Reservations Get in the Way

Since the beginning of August 2011 I have been making a conscious effort to better my life, find new passions, learn things I thought I couldn’t, and live a little. Things I hadn’t been doing. What provoked this revelation of change? As Cliche as it sounds (don’t worry I am aware), it all started with a break up. I will give you a little back story.  I will also try not to let it drag on, but I can’t  make any promises.

Lets go back to 9-11-10. My friends L and P, who are one of the most rad couples I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting, were engaged and planning a joint bachelor/bachelorette party. At the time, my best friend who I call Booger (maybe I will explain that one in a later post), had just moved away to start a new job. I met L and P through her and was disappointed that she wouldn’t be able to be my date for the occasion. I didn’t know really any of the other people attending aside from the merry couple. I convinced myself I’d have a miserable time and decided to skip out on the party. Then at the last minute, I pep talked myself into throwing on my best dress. Next thing I knew I was on my way to the trolley. You never know who you might meet, right?

Well… I met someone alright. After the party trolley had taken us bar hoping from about 7:00 to 1:00 in the morning, everyone was either calling it a night or parting ways. It just so turned out that there was but one other single person on that trolley. Just what I was dreading, being the 25th wheel. So, being a bit discouraged about the night and having not eaten dinner, I decided not to end the night just yet. I found myself at my local bar equivalent of Cheers. No, really everyone does know my name there. Though there were a few fellow regulars still hanging around determined to make the home stretch to closing time, I was basically sitting alone all decked out and eating tuna salad and potato chips off of a paper plate. That’s when we met. Looking back, and after you understand what happened over the next year, you will see why I feel I should have taken the date we met as a warning.

This guy, who I hardly remember meeting that night, would end up quickly becoming my boyfriend. We dated for just shy of a year. The first few months, like most relationships, were a dream. He could do no wrong and we had an intense connection that makes you blind and bat shit crazy. Of course, it wasn’t long after things became a little less explosive on the love front that things began coming out. Little truths I’d ignored. I realized I was dating a master manipulator. This guy wouldn’t keep a job to save all of mankind. He was a closet addict who would peak his head out from behind that closet door more and more the longer we were together. He shacked up with me as I proceeded to assume the role of hero. You know, the –let me save you – routine. I did literally nothing for myself for a year. I had the money and the time. I had landed an enviable job and was climbing high  in my personal life with no signs of stopping. I didn’t once get to enjoy that. It was only and always about him. The more I accepted his lies as truth, the stronger his manipulative skills became. It is such a shame to think of the time and money I wasted trying to help someone who had no intention of ever helping himself.

So the details are messy, and I wont subject you to more of those, but I think you get the point. After I came out of what felt like a hypnotic coma and ended the relationship, I knew it was time to do things. I didn’t know what right away, but I knew it had to be something. Anything! And so I did … I did pretty much anything I wanted. Not only did I do things that I knew I always wanted to do, but I started projects, taught myself, learned, and laughed. Here is a list of  some of the things I have done in the past 8 months that I may have never realized I could do, could want to do, or needed to do. I know they might have never happened had I not learned so much from that relationship. Or even scarier, if I hadn’t ever gotten out. Maybe, just maybe, they will inspire someone else.

1. Had a girls’ night dinner party with full course meal and home-made cocktails. Danced in the living room.

Dinner Party

2. Saw a country concert for the first time. (Keith Urban)

Keith Urban Concert

3. Went to New Orleans, nicknamed someone Mr. Belding, and watched the Saint’s kick some ass.

Saints Game

Mr. Belding

(Mr. Belding on the left. He was really a high school principal)

4. Got a tattoo while I was there *sorry mom!* – You can see what the tattoo is of here in my first post.

5. Held a baby. Remember L and P from that engagement party? Yep, it was their new-born baby girl.

Baby Girl

6. Dyed my hair red (You can see in my picture on the sidebar of course)

7. Bought a drum set. Taught myself. Can read music and everything yo! Travis Barker and I jam all the time now.

I tried to insert a sound clip, but I am incompetent. So, here is a picture of the actual brand (Gammon) that I purchased. I would give a great review for this set especially for being a starter set. I will probably have some later posts about this and electric sets at some point.

Gammon 5 piece drum set

8. Cooked, then cooked, then cooked some more. Discovered this unexpected passion.

9. Bought one of these. This began the rekindling of my flame for writing and thus….

10. I started blogging.

If you find yourself in any kind of situation where you know you are not living life to its fullest, where you know you deserve better, where you feel like you are on a sinking ship, where you know you are being taken advantage of, or maybe even if you are just simply in a rut… I only hope you can get to a snapping point and make a change. Enough is enough sometimes. And, if my tale does nothing for you, check out this post by David Kanigan. Thought provoking stuff there.

Related articles

About becca3416

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on March 29, 2012, in Adventures, Cooking, Experiments, Inspirational, Opinion and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. I absolutely love this, Becca. See? You’re a proud and powerful spirit. I think it takes some real cahonies to be able to address a personal issue and work towards solving it. It’s a challenge, but one that you’ve proven that you are up for. I’m proud of you. Never stop improving yourself. (Although, you’re running out of things to improve. Actually, maybe you already did run out of things? Yes, I think you might have.) 😉

  2. Very inspiring post, young lady! Good for you – on all counts!

  3. Go you! Really happy to read a story about one of these relationships that ends well for the not-jackass part of the couple.
    And you’re absolutely right about reclaiming your life for yourself.
    I remember being hospitalized for a week after long term (unfun) stupidity. The day I got out, called a climbing instructor I knew and spent the day rock climbing. And still look for the most stupidly fun things I can find to do.
    Keep on rockin Becca!

  4. Isn’t it crazy how getting out of a less-than-stellar relationship can make you a completely different (read: better) person? I traveled abroad for a semester, chopped 12″ off my hair, met amazing new people, and so much more after the demise of a gone down the shitter relationship. Awesome post, and I can totally relate!

  5. Wonderful post!! I think it’s so great that you’ve gone on to learn all those wonderful things!!

    • Thank you so much. It is scary to get out of your comfort zone but it is so very worth it. I had to learn not to tell myself no to anything (within reason haha!)

Talk to me

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: