Sleep, Time, and Flies

sleep chart funny

If I could have one super power bestowed upon me, I would probably chose the ability to remain awake indefinitely. I’ve always heard (something along the lines of)  that we  sleep a third of our lives away. One whole third. How about that oxymoron. That is a ridiculous amount of time, and I disagree with whatever force out there decided living beings required unconsciousness. Now, don’t get me wrong, sleeping is one of the most blissful activities. Some days I feel I could lead a happy life confined to my bed. Nonetheless, the time we lose drooling and twitching on our mattresses is absurd. It is especially absurd if you contemplate how much time we actually consciously experience the heavenly feelings of drifting off to sleep. It is not long. A few minutes maybe… down to a few seconds. The rest of the time glides by in darkness (give or take a dream here and there). I’ll admit, dreams are pretty badass and they fascinate me to no end, but reality…. is reality. 

I am rambling on about sleep and time, because I can never seem to get enough of either and still accomplish what I aim to accomplish. I know what you are thinking, “Yea, you and the rest of the world”. Maybe I will become one of those people who trains their bodies to adjust to polyphasic sleep. Maybe I can continue my failed attempts at lucid dreaming. You know, live my real limit filled life by day and my matrix style limitless dream-life by night. No… no way. I will end up confusing the two, jumping off a building (inception style), and plummeting to my premature death.

Maybe someone can just come up with a drug engineered to eliminate the need for a sleep cycle. Oh wait, I forgot about cocaine and amphetamines. Too bad I am anti-drug. Sigh.

Either I am going insane from lack of slumber, or the entire time I wrote this there were some highly annoying creatures in the room. I’ll explain in haiku. I like haikus almost as much as GIFs.

Sitting in a chair
A hum zooms around my head
Trolling flies die soon

becca cord signature

About becca3416

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on May 9, 2012, in Experiments, Humor, Opinion, Silly and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 16 Comments.

  1. I don’t mind missing some sleep – for the right reason, of course!
    But I feel your pain… I’ve never felt so tired in my life! 42 is just no fun when you’re a mere mortal…

  2. The graph, it is funny.

  3. Love the graph. Also want to do lucid dreaming..but want to have a good sleep more!

  4. Best super power would be teleportation, Night Crawler style but without the crazy looks. You could travel anywhere in the world in mere seconds. I could go to New Zealand for the weekend and be back for work. That would be epic!

  5. i might like the ability to fly. or to communicate with all living things. or to snap my fingers and create oreos. eh. any of those.

    • Communicate with all living things would be awesome… except when I have to stop killing roaches because they are pleading with me to spare them. I’d also like to be able to breathe underwater. Floating is the best feeling. You could take an under water nap!

  6. Ah – I’m always trying to have a Lucid dream… almost did too once, until I realised. One day, though… one day! I know what you mean about sleep and time, Becca, never enough and always wanting more.

  1. Pingback: Haiku #8, #9, #10 « T. W. Fuller

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