I Kneed New Shoes

Burning Shoes

About two weeks ago, I finally pep talked myself back in to my workout regime. I keep it rather basic. Walking and running intervals for cardio, a few push-ups and squats, and a lot of stretching. All was going well, and I had finally gotten over the don’t wants phase, when my shoes decided they didn’t like my knees and proceeded to launch full on warfare.

Last year I purchased a pair of Sketchers Shape-Ups. A couple of my friends swore up and down their asses were on the fast track to putting Jennifer Anniston’s to shame, so naturally I joined the ass bandwagon. I didn’t run much last year, but I did justify my lack of working out by doing all of my shopping in those backstabbing shoes. Because I never had an issue with them (besides that they really do nothing for improving your physique), I didn’t think twice about lacing up this year and hitting the pavement.

Wednesday, while at the gym, I started to notice a few strange sensations. Let me just say now, I have never had any injuries or pangs from running in my life minus some serious sore muscles. First I noticed my left foot felt as if it was falling asleep, a pins and needles numbing sensation, towards the end of my thirty minute workout. Not only that, but my knees were pulsing with pain with each harsh stride on the treadmill. Thinking I was just being a pansy, I pushed through and finished my run.

I have this private joke with a friend of mine that I am going to meet when I go to Boston about not becoming crippled before I make it there. I am not sure how or why that joke started. Regardless, I should have knocked on wood.

I’ll admit that is a little melodramatic, and I am certain I will recuperate without seeing any white lights. In the meantime, however, I have to break my workout routine and make a small bonfire. Are footwear flammable? I think I’ll find out. It is possibly my fault for not having enough common sense to realize these shoes were not made for hardcore running in the first place, but I am in pain… so I am going to ignore the fact that I deserve to take some of the responsibility for this unfortunate experience and tell Sketchers to sit and spin. Sorry Sketchers, but if the shoe fits…


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About becca3416

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on May 25, 2012, in Adventures, Experiments, How I Knew, Opinion and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 26 Comments.

  1. Don’t burn them! Just turn them into earrings. Or perhaps a salsa bowl. Actually don’t do the last one. That’s just gross.

  2. I hope you never change, Becca! You’re perfect -in your own imperfect way – just as you are!

  3. My mom got a pair of shape-ups and I walked around on my tip toes making fun of her like, “My ass is tighter already!” and “I’m shaping up with shape-ups!”. Then I kind of wanted a pair, and because I made fun of her I felt like an asshole if I bought them. She quit wearing them after a shift at work and being in unbearable pain. These shoes seem like bad news and I still believe they would help my own butt look better. Women, we are silly.

    • Indeed we are. I probably will never learn my lesson. Next week I will probably be buying something that promises to give me a 6-pack only to end up in the ER with a cracked rib or something.

  4. Running with Shape-ups eh? That’s like doing a ballet performance with cleats! Here’s to a speedy recovery. (don’t walk the entire Boston Freedom Trail in those shape-ups. Kinda common sense, but based on your post I figured I’d better play it safe.)

    • Good call… I think I am just going to start wearing roller blades everywhere. I don’t know if it will relieve my knees but it sure will be fun and fast.

  5. Two things

    1. Ditch the shape ups. They’ll sprain your ankle.

    B. Squats give you a bigger butt. Don’t do them unless you have a flat butt.

    • Point B is not necessarily true. Women do not develop muscle mass the way that men do. Often times, when a woman has equal strength of a guy, she is rather unassuming in her muscle mass. That’s why I always hear girls talk about not having a butt even though they’re doing squats all the time. Not enough testosterone.

    • Haha! They aren’t really squats but rather a variety of leg toning exercises I did routinely in my dancing days. I just used squat because I was writing lazy. I admit. I don’t want to expand my bum.

      Shoes are going in the trash shoot.

  6. I would suggest getting to a running store (i.e. Running Fit) and see if they have any experts that know anything about arches and how to actually fit different shoes with different arch support to people. Also, if you are thinking about getting into barefoot running, please research it first. There are a bunch of ways to hurt yourself by just going out and running barefoot or in those ugly Vibram toe shoes.

  1. Pingback: My Gym Is Not a Gem | 25ToFly

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