You Had A Bad Day

bad day

I’m a sucker for Ren & Stimpy. It was my first guilty pleasure, because mom didn’t think it was appropriate entertainment for a five year old little girl in a tutu. She didn’t know any better. I forgive her.

Because I can see you getting green in the face hearing about Boston this and Boston that like I am an eleven year old gushing about how I want to marry Patrick Swayze (why did you leave me!), today’s post will not mention Beantown. Except for that last sentence.

Yesterday tried to break me. It tried hard. It pulled out every anvil and TNT labeled box it had and dropped them directly on top of my groggy little head. The only problem was that it didn’t quite kill me. I was as resilient as the never-dying cartoon characters, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t look and feel like complete roadkill. It all started with a lack of sleep due to a cold/sinus infection/lupus/cancer or whatever other illness the web’s symptom checkers told me I have.

Somewhere I read that riding in an airplane can make you more susceptible to sinus issues. Judging from the delightful time I had on my plane rides, and considering I feel like my ears are still popping, I think I’ve nailed the culprit. At least I don’t really have lupus.

All day I could barely breathe, and when I did actually manage to  inhale a solid breath, the tiny lion in my chest let out a menacing growl. Immediately following this foreboding sound was a violent and hacking cough that successfully managed to frighten and disgust my co-workers, but at least it would put the lion to sleep for a few minutes.

Anyway, to save time and your eyes from more blocks of text, I will list the snowball of unfortunate events that unwound throughout the rest of yesterday that turned me in to a belligerent Ren. These events also lead to me ending my day in bed, in my underwear, crying and washing down three-day old left over fried rice with Jameson. I wouldn’t even let the cat come in for cuddles, so you know it was serious.

  • Some strange man felt-up my favorite coffee cup. I think he sniffed it too.
  • I failed at finding an awesome apartment to rent for my up coming New Orleans getaway despite searching all day.
  • People kept telling me I looked angry. I assume this means the opposite of lovely and beautiful and good smelling.
  • A large, grouchy bug invaded my driver’s seat while I was approaching 50 mph on the highway.
  • I drove the entire way home with my torso glued to my steering wheel and my ass disconnected from the seat.
  • Many potential wrecks
  • I couldn’t find and assassinate aforementioned bug, so now I will be paranoid of its return indefinitely.
  • Jack tore up the entire toilet paper role. This may or may not be the real reason there was no cuddling.

Should I have just directed myself over to #firstworldproblems? Maybe so, but you and I are in somewhat of a relationship. That means that I get to tell you all of the good and the bad, right? What do you mean you need space?

Now that I have evened out my blog with some good old fashion negativity and self-pity, why don’t you tell me what was not shitty about your day yesterday?

becca cord signature

About becca3416

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on August 1, 2012, in Humor, work and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.

  1. Becca…what a day! Put it down to the two Full Moons we have this month… that’s what I’ve done with the day from hell I’ve had, featuring my arch enemy the Leopard. Not that it’s the Moon’s fault, obviously, but sometimes the Universe aligns in ways that don’t feel exactly as they should to us! Hope you’re all much better now! 🙂

  2. I too, love Ren and Stimpy. The artwork alone cracks me up, let alone the dialogue and the scenarios.

    I’m sorry you had such a crappy day. I wish I could balance your negativity out with some funny or positive reference to what I did yesterday, but yesterday for me was very much uneventful–no bug attacks in my car or toilet paper murder or anything.

  3. I accidentally washed all of my whites with my pink track jacket. I now have a large number of pink shirts and no whites.
    Now then, don’t you feel a teensy bit better?

  4. A couple thoughts:

    1. Yes, being angry meant you weren’t beautiful and good smelling–just like when I wear a new skirt and no one compliments it means it’s ugly.

    2. That bug is coming back. We both know it will return.

    3. I hope that man didn’t put anything in your coffee.

    4. Yesterday wasn’t as bad as my date on Monday, and I promise that will make you feel better.

    • 1. I don’t get to wear skirts, so mini skirt it up for me over there.
      2. *dramatically looks over shoulder*
      3. I almost wish he had put something in there so I could have taken the rest of the day off!
      4. I do feel better, but I do hope your next date isn’t Joe Pesci.

  5. You poor dear. I hope you feel better

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