My Gym Is Not a Gem
Now that I have fully recovered from my Sketchers catastrophe, I have resumed training for the Color Run. I am braving this 5k at the end of November. Training is so much more difficult than the actual run. Obviously, there are no strangers cheering me on by throwing powdered rainbows on me while I slave on the treadmill. There also isn’t a celebration with beer waiting for me after I complete my reps on the weight machine. Who am I kidding. We all know there is beer waiting in my fridge, but that doesn’t change the fact that training just… sucks.
To make matters worse, I have come to the understanding that either the place is just plain old bad luck, or the employees at my gym are purposefully sabotaging me. If the latter is the case, it is probably just because they are jealous that they don’t have the balls to workout in men’s long jonhs. I also don’t sweat, which is neat.
Here are a few examples of why I’ve come to such a conclusion:
- Yesterday I was five minutes in to my jaunt on the treadmill when the sun decided to rape my eyeballs. Despite my elaborate attempt to get the attention of a trainer by running with both hands glued to my head in salute position to hint that she lower the blinds, I was still ignored. It was weird because I was the only person in the room and she closed all of the blinds in the building excluding the ones in front of me.
- The gym connects to my apartment complex. Every time the attractive male from 301 enters the front door my pants hightail it so far up my ass that even thongs would find it brave.
- The same front desk lady keeps asking me if I am a student in the same voice that the lady who cut my hair in elementary school asked me, “So what grade will you be in next year?!”.
- The girl I took a Pilates class with once stopped attending after I joined. We were the only two in the class. She also stopped saying things like “hi” when I saw her by the water fountain after that.
Is this just bad luck? Sheer coincidence? Or, does Full Circle Fitness just want me out of their circle?
- One Mile Treadmill Test at the Gym (newtothegym.wordpress.com)
- 26 Pilates Benefits That Can Change Your Life (balanceinme.com)
- The gym that sucked in the gym haters (pubpatioplaydate.com)
Posted on September 13, 2012, in Fitness, Humor, Silly and tagged 25tofly, 5k Run, bad gyms, bad luck, Becca Cord, color run, fitness, Gym, health, marathon, marathon training, Personal trainer, personal trainers, Physical exercise, pilates, Running, sketchers shape ups, Strength training, training for a race, Treadmill, what you actually look like when you run, work out regime, workout plan. Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.