Pimp My Blog

pimp my blog

Buttons be hydraulics for yo blog, and yo header be the spinnin’ rims.

So, have you noticed it looks a little less Raggedy Ann and a little more Audrey Hepburn in here? Actually, my blog probably has more in common with radioactive ladybugs than it does with Audrey Hepburn, but you get my point. Because we just get each other, right?

After becoming an official member of #BloggerIdolRejects (hash tag credit to Mr. ElGuapo) and pondering what absurd reasons the judging panel came up with to exclude me from the top thirteen, I began to think of ways that I could improve my blog. I came up with three conclusions that may help my case in the future:

1. I shall acquire a spawn (or ten) and transform this into a “mommy” blog, thus giving me a much better chance at scoring my way into the top thirteen of BloggerIdol next year.

2. My header needs to actually have something to do with my blog.

3. I need a logo, AKA a button, to represent my blog outside of its domain. Should the occasion arise…

Considering that I can face-plant more gracefully than I can handle anything having to do with babies, I opted out of improvement number one.

My header was the work of Dina Goldstein from her Fallen Princesses collection. I stumbled across her work way before I began this blog. Her work is that of a humble prodigy. The photograph was entitle “Cinder” and depicted the famous Cinderella having a booze bath at her shady local bar. As I interpreted the piece, I identified with it tremendously.

While this made perfect sense to me to use as a header, it would continue to mean nothing to my readers if it remained there unexplained. Plus, I haven’t dabbled in the complexities of Microsoft Paint in a few decades. Do hipsters use Paint instead of Photoshop? If so, I think I just became a hipster.

As for the whole button thing, I needed some help. The Google search results for, “how to make a WordPress blog button” returned this as the top result. Indeed it was somewhat helpful, and I give a round of applause to the lady who wrote the tutorial. My research resulted in the Photoshop wannabe clusterfuck over there in the sidebar. It is inspired by my occasional exploitation of cats meshed with my delusion that I am the next female Travis Barker, but it works. Like I said before, you get it, and that is all that matters.

I am still working out the whole “grab box” thing for the button, because I am a fucknut *winking at you AGreyCat*.

Okay, so not that much is changed, but what do you think? Are the changes as magnificent as a double rainbow or worse than sliding down a razor blade into a pool of alcohol?

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About becca3416

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on September 21, 2012, in How I Knew, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 22 Comments.

  1. Your blog rocks hard, lady! Not only do you have one of the most well-designed cyber-havens on WordPress, your content rocks! And content is EVERYTHING…

  2. I’m so glad that I get your header now! I think I may have started following you because of your header actually. That being said, your other potential readers are probably not as obsessed with Cinderella as I am.

  3. I love those pics on Fallen Princess! And I love the button of you drumming, all that’s missing a flea infested mink stole.

  4. I would also vote drunk Cinderella over blurry words that made me think I need bifocals. Not sure what a blog button is either…I don’t have one. I guess all the cool kids have one.

    To be honest I don’t know if I have paid much attention to anyone’s header anyway. I usually scroll down to the content.

    I’m not super great at photoshop, but if you have an idea, I can attempt to help.

    And the term Blogger Idol sounds horrible, like something your car would do as it’s breaking down.

    • The words were not supposed to be blurry, but when it turned out that way I told myself it was edgy… or something…. and went with it. But, good point. I don’t want people running out thinking they need lasik because of my blog.

      I think a button or having a token image that people relate with your blog is a good thing for familiarity. I think it still needs some tweaking. Thanks for the solid input and the photoshop help offer. I’ll let you know.

      As far as Blogger Idol, I think I am done with contests. I thought it would be something fun but I got a little too caught up in it. Although it would be nice, this blog’s purpose isn’t to build a trophy case.

  5. Becca… I don’t know. The Unknown Destination thing ties in with the orange and blue theme of the blog look, but it doesn’t scream out ‘This is Becca’s blog’ to me… but maybe I’m missing something. I like your button (is that cat smiling?) but I think it needs tweaking slightly as you have some href text underneath it – whatever that is!
    And sorry to hear you were rejected, that may be my fault as I never got round to voting for you – sorry about that!
    Back to your changes, I’m middle of the road, but if you like it I’ll like it!

    • The cat is rocking out on the microphone… he is probably smiling too though ;). I think the button may be a little too small, but I went with the size because research said that was “standard” button size. Who likes “standard” anyway?

      The html text underneath it is supposed to be for others to copy and use in their blogs to refer back to mine if they so choose, but I think I am going to remove that, because I don’t even think the code works at the moment (which is why I said I need to work out some kinks).

      I think the main reason I like the changed header is because of the matching color scheme, like you mentioned. The fallen princess header was more me, I agree, but call me OCD. I am working on it.

  6. Diggin’ the cat button! Loved the last banner picture of the fallen princess, but I guess I see your feeling of need to change ^.^

    • Seems to be the consensus about the old header, I am working on compromise. I like the button too but it needs some tweaking. I am always too impatient to wait to post stuff like this until it is exactly how I want it!

  7. Hey, I just met you,
    And this is crazy,
    But I like the other,
    Kinda maybe…

    Yeah, I did like the other one better.

  8. I think I like the other one Becca — not sure I like the blurry thing, but I’m lost and I’ve only started following you recently.

  9. Looks good B. I didn’t know you played the drums. Thanks for the wink! Nice usage 😉

  10. I like, but I liked the other one too!

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