Advertisements

Mr. OB and The Unwanted Threesome

no cat swinging

You don’t want to see the original image I was going to use for this post … but if you do, it is at the bottom.

As promised, I have decided that today I will bestow upon you all the story that so fascinated and terrified me a few weeks ago. Yes, the one with sex and cats. I sure hope that it lives up to your expectations, because I know you have been fantasizing about what it could possibly be all weekend.

I have a geriatric boyfriend of sorts (this is not the sexual fetish part). A long time regular of the restaurant I worked at in college, and a shorter than average bearded man of about sixty-something, Mr. OB and I often find ourselves dining alone at the same restaurant. We have our declared spots at the bar. We have our usual orders. We both like our wine with a nice cold diet coke on the side. So, in retrospect, we don’t ever actually eat alone. We eat together.

There are a few things you should know about Mr. OB. He always orders the same thing. He “only dates women under forty”. He knows people. He can and will tell you anything and everything there is to know about New Orleans even if you didn’t ask.  He can not hear but refuses to get a hearing aid. I assume he thinks this would confirm his age, thus he avoids it. He is also known for something called the champagne bath, which by its name alone should give you an idea where this story is going.

Mr. OB and I share a no-shame attitude in regards to the openness of  our conversations. I’m almost certain that it has nothing to do with the bottles of wine. Being that I mainly talk about cats in regular discourse anyway, and he about hot women he has courted, it is to no surprise of mine that the following conversation happened:

Mr. OB: “Do you tell guys before hand that you have two cats when they want to come over?”

Me: “Uh, YEA. Guys love that shit. I tell them Ace hates men and they take that as a challenge… or something … I think.”

Mr. OB: “You crazy fucking cat ladies.”

Me: wine sip, eye-roll

Mr. OB: “It wouldn’t work on me, I’ll tell ya that. Not after that one crazy cat lady.”

Me: “Elaborate please…”

Mr. OB: “No way. It’s too much. You don’t want to know.”

Me: (and now a few servers engaging around us): “Yes. Tell.”

Mr OB: “Let’s just say she had a cat in the bedroom okay.”

Me: “So? I let my cat in my room sometimes.”

Mr. OB: “While you are fooling around?”

Me: “NO! OF COURSE NOT! WHO TOLD YOU THAT?! Ahem. I mean no, but that’s really not that crazy. I mean I am sure she was just too caught up in the moment to get it out of the room.”

Mr. OB: “Is that why she told me to hit her with it?”

Me: staring

Mr. OB: “Yeah, okay, I didn’t misunderstand some kind of dirty talk either. She literally wanted me to grab the damn thing by the tail and swing the animal using it as a weapon towards her. She got off on getting beat by a pussy instead of the other way around or whatever people say. I ran out of that house so fast that I was half way down the street before I realized I only had one pant leg on.”

Me: “Yeah, and I’m the crazy cat lady.”

Mr. OB: “You never know. She was hot too.”

cat swing lady

Google Images you scary.

becca cord signature

Advertisements

About becca3416

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on October 1, 2012, in Adventures, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 42 Comments.

  1. Of all the suspicious elements to this post, the most alarming is that woman’s knees.

  2. Wow! That is one crazy cat lady!
    Great – but terrifying – image, too!

  3. When I read the title, “Mr OB” I assumed this was going to be about tampons.

    But it was about pussies – so I guess it came out to the same thing? ^.^

  4. Becca,
    The following is a true story. Before I left to pick up my son, I received a notification about this post. I was excited. You did a good job at building it up. So I’m driving and my son’s talking, and this is what I’m hearing: blah blah blah, but what I’m really thinking is: Becca’s Fetish Post! Hell yeah!

    We get back home, and I make an executive decision: the kids in front of the TV (and I don’t even need to pay it for taking care of my little ones)… Back at my desk, and here we go: you’re post. I get to the end. I’m perplexed, I don’t know what to answer. This doesn’t happen often. I make supper, sit at the table with the family, and this is what happened: I kept on thinking there was pussy hair between my teeth. All throughout supper.
    End of true story.
    Le Clown

  5. That story was so worth the wait. I just-I…am at a loss for words. I guess truth really is stranger than fiction.

  6. yep…a new meaning to rubbing one out lol

  7. There’s so many opportunities for me to say something witty that I’m actually overloaded and can’t say anything. First world problems :/

  8. I think I’d run too in that situation… and perhaps try to send a psychic message to the cat to get out too!

  9. If I could count the number of times I have been asked to swing a cat around during sex, the answer would be somewhere between -5 and 0.

  10. That would definitely top my creepy list… Don’t know if I can say the same for La La, specially since it’s her birthday and all…

    But I don’t know that I would have run out right away, I prolly would have tried to finish things up first.

    Now that I’m thinking about it, maybe it was a test. You know, her way of seeing if he’d harm her pussy, uh, cats.

    Prolly not the case… She was just crazy. hahaha…

  1. Pingback: Final BFM Update: Beyond the Money of Movember | 25ToFly

  2. Pingback: More From Mr. OB | 25ToFly

  3. Pingback: 25toFly 2.0 | 25ToFly

  4. Pingback: Mr. OB and The Champagne Bath | 25ToFly

Talk to me

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: