Mr. OB and The Champagne Bath
I tweeted yesterday that I was going to have an interactive post today. I had a really dope idea, but then WordPress slapped me in the face and said, “You can’t do that, lol sry”.
Instead, and to make up for the intended dopeness, I will give you another sexy story straight from Mr. OB himself. This one doesn’t include cat S&M, but there will be ducks. This is probably the first story he ever told me that crossed the line of what is considered to be a normal conversation between two bar guests of a forty-year age difference. Or, more accurately, the moment when too much information lost all meaning and an atypical friendship was born:
Sitting in our usual positions at the restaurant bar.
Mr OB: “Where are you going tonight?”
Me: “No where. Home.”
Mr. OB: “Yeah, sure. You’ll be at [secret bar name] smoking all those cigarettes.”
Me: “No really. I am going home to relax, may even take a bath.”
Mr. OB: “You got any champagne?”
Me: “Uh… you’re not invited.”
Mr. OB: “It’s not for me. It’s for the champagne bath.”
Me: “What the fuck is a champagne bath OB?”
Mr. OB: “Oh, it’s great. It’s good for your skin. I used to give Angel champagne baths.”
Waiter J: (passing by) “OB, stop talking about champagne baths. Becca doesn’t know about that.”
Mr. OB: (unphased) “Listen, you need to get the real kind of champagne though. None of that cheap shit. Run your bath and poor the bottle in. It’s tingly.”
Me: “Wait wait wait. I want to know about this woman you were “giving” champagne baths to. How does that work?”
Mr. OB: “I would set the tub up for her, light some candles, and line the bathtub all the way around with rubber ducks. Then I’d—
Me: “Wait, rubber ducks?”
Mr. OB: “Yeah, it was like her thing.”
Me: “Right. Sounds like normal and adultlike bathtime to me. Please do proceed.”
Mr. OB: “She loved it. I’d sit on the toilet next to the tub.”
Me: “… doing what exactly. I mean, you weren’t in it with her?”
Mr. OB: “Hell no! The champagne bath was for her not me. I would just sit in there and talk to her.”
Me: “Champagne bath sounds too sexual for rubber ducks and toilet perching.”
Mr. OB: “Well, I haven’t told you what happens after I get her out.” (excessive, devious laughter)
Me: (to the bartender) “You can close me out now.”
I am not making these conversations up.
- Mr. OB and The Unwanted Threesome (25tofly.com)
- bath! (greyhoundeddie.wordpress.com)
- Rubber Duck Softie (whileshenaps.typepad.com)
Posted on November 2, 2012, in Humor, Silly and tagged 25tofly, Angel, atypical romance, Bath, bath figurines, bath time, bath toys, blog, Blogging, Champagne, Champagne Bath, facebook conversations, friendship, Funny, humor, interactive blog, life, mr. OB, Outback, Relationships, romantic baths, Rubber duck, rubber duck figurines, sexy baths, silly conversations, WordPress. Bookmark the permalink. 90 Comments.