Monthly Archives: November 2012

Titles Are For Days That Aren’t Monday

It’s Monday again. It is Thanksgiving week. I am going for two cups of coffee today. Maybe snort some pixie stix too. It could only help at this point.

I haven’t had this tired of a Monday in a while. I suppose that’s what all the traveling this weekend did to me. And all the baby holding. You will be relieved to know that the baby is still alive and well after the holding.

becca and baby

Just waiting to misplace my hands and cause her head to pop off.

After I successfully didn’t kill my godchild, I finally completed the run for which I have been training. Remember, that was why I was going to the gym so much. No attractive males involved there.

You will be happy to know that I thought of some of you while I was there. Read the rest of this entry

Oh Dad

As promised, and to avoid angering the blogging gods ultimately ruining my internet karma, today’s post is inspired by “Faddah Friday” or “Funny Dad Friday”. Started by Brother Jon, or more officially,  Jonathan (control your excitement Rutabaga), I am excited to share with you a post in this style. You might even gain some insight as to how I became the way I am, but I doubt it.

On Cars

My dad is a car maintenance enthusiast. Sometimes I think he is a car mechanic instead of a salesman. He once had the same truck for like fifteen years. That thing had about 500,000 miles on it. He also taught me to drive in that same truck when I was eight, then again when I was fourteen, and once more when I was actually of legal age. He also forgave me that time I backed into the house… eventually. Here a few things I learned from him on the subject: Read the rest of this entry

D is at it again. I love when my name and a post about venereal disease are mentioned together! My Australian accented smile does too.

ASpoonfulofSuga

My Home-Gurl  Becca commented on my post: Aside from Venereal Disease Love Really Does Conquer All with the following line:

What is love? Baby don’t hurt me.

So I, being a staunch supporter of brinkmanship, have decided to push things   further into absurdity by posting this. Everyone  play along and check out Becca’s page.

Little Known Fact about Becca

Did you know she can light up the South with a smile? No exaggeration! It’s a great skill to have especially when many southern states are trying to secede from the USA because they  don’t like their democratically Elected President !!!

 

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That’s Not My Name

My driver’s side window of my vehicle has been out of commission since New Year’s. I kept telling myself it hadn’t been broken that long. Denial.  I finally snapped out of it and realized it was time for action when the Wendy’s drive-thru cashier started recognizing me by car. Plus, her looks of pity/disdain were starting to weigh on me. I’d have to get it fixed.

Fortunately for me, my car’s window is super special and required not only a window motor replacement, but also a new regulator. Ridding yourself of drive-thru shame is quite pricey. For $400.00 you can order that spicy chicken combo with your head held high.

I will admit though, that the repair shop I chose did a wonderful job. They even gave my vehicle a free once-over and provided me with a detailed report card. Like a dead-beat mom in a hurry, I shoved the report card in my wallet and went on my way.

Today, remembering about the report card sparked my curiosity. As I pulled out the document, I was blind sighted by what I discovered.

car report card

NO.

A painful memory suddenly gripped my brain. I went into full flash-back mode. Read the rest of this entry

Polls Are Not For Strippers

Movember is coasting along nicely as we approach the half way mark. Wait, what? November is almost half way over already? I suppose time flies when you’re saving balls. Everyone needs to go read the latest Movember update by Madame Weebles. If you have registered for the US Bloggers for Movember team and haven’t made your donation yet to try your luck at winning a spot on my banner, you only have a few weeks left to do so. Do I need to light a fire under your ass? You know that’s how Le Clown got his blog name, right?

I’d also like to suggest that y’all read Jason’s Movember post. Although he may end up with a serious case of blue balls by the end of the month, at least he will have healthy blue balls. Now that’s sacrifice.

first world relationship problems

Poor Jason

On a third note, I am starting to get jealous of all the budding mustaches the guys are showing off. I am ready to get my fake mustache on. My sophisticated drumstache was featured in Open Concept’s music video inspired by Movember, but now it is time for the official 25tofly Movember ‘stache. But of what shall my mouth wreath be constructed?  I want you to decide.

Please vote in the poll below to seal my mustache fate. You can vote up until this Saturday, November 17th at midnight. Come Sunday, I will prepare the winning mustache and commence the camera phone action. Then on Monday, I will post the photo of my sexiest mustache face on the Bloggers for Movember Facebook page. Choose wisely, or tell me your own idea.

Also, please stay tuned Friday for my own version of “Faddah Friday” inspired by none other than Brother Jon.

becca cord signature

What a Tease!

As y’all can see, the bannerific Movember prize teaser is up and shaking its ass for you. Please do not throw ones at it. Instead, take those dollars and donate them to the US bloggers for Movember team. Again, all you have to do to compete for one of those handsome looking mustached positions on my banner is click the Movember button to the right in my sidebar. It will lead you to the original contest announcement post which includes the US team page link where you can register to become a team member (easy as a prostitute) and donate any amount you want.

Again, come the end of November and out of all of the registered members who donate to the US team, four will be chosen at random and illustrated along side of me on my banner (created by the charming dashing smashing Mr. Tim). You will also win a spot on an added page link at the top of 25tofly that will recognize you as a winner and spotlight your blog… indefinitely! Remember that you can also get your name entered twice in the drawing by “Liking” the Bloggers for Movember Facebook page on top of joining and donating. Just be sure to let me know that you have done both.

I never thought I would feel so passionately about a cause like this, but it feels great to think that I can help make a difference. I give special thanks to the team of people who trusted letting me participate in this thing. I can’t wait to see the final result of this project.  In the meantime, be sure to stay tuned in on the Facebook page for links to all of the outstanding Movember blog posts throughout the month. From serious to side-splitting, some truly incredible stories by some amazing writers are being shared. Don’t miss out.

becca cord signature

 

Like my new friend David, I often find myself in awe at the sometimes overlooked, sheer power that blogging has to connect people. I believe in the majority of positive attitudes and mindsets that are seen scattered across this community. I believe in setting examples. For this reason, I rarely take time to consider the negative. There are events that occur in places where the same freedoms I have do not seem to exist to those simply wishing to do the same thing we all are: speak our minds. Please read this and say hi to David if you don’t already know him. He is one well rounded dude.

Here is the original article about Sattar: http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2012/11/the-death-of-sattar-beheshti-dissident-blogger-in-iranian-police-custody/264974/

ASpoonfulofSuga

Hi Everyone,

My name is David and I’m the guy who created this site as well as the character of MrMary MF Poppins. I am a very private person, and have never used my first name on this site, but something rather serious has happened that has given me pause for reflection.

Today while working on the site I realized that in a few days this blog will turn one years old. I really love writing here so much so that I have neglected my other blogs.  You the readers have given me the opportunity to be both serious silly and every other emotion in between those extremes. Nowhere else could I blur the lines between sybaritic diction and imagery, openly vocal  philosophical  reflection, satirical recapitulations of the events of the day, and  all around merry-making as evidenced in this picture below where I went full method for…

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Invasion

I know everyone must think this, but bugs in general are out to get me specifically.  Bugs and frogs, but today we are just going to discuss the bugs. They know my name, what apartment I live in, and have a tracking system planted somewhere on my vehicle that I can’t locate. I guess that’s because a bug made locator device would be rather microscopic, but whatever. The point is that they are watching me. They are. The proof is in the battles.

Show Down #1:

I never roll my windows all the way down in my vehicle. I’m have long hair, and I bitch when the wind messes it up. There I said it. I am very much a girl. A small crack will always suffice when needing fresh air. Until they missile their way into my vehicle that is. They strategically wait to strike until they see that I have exceeded 50 mph. On the highway. In rush hour.

They know my attempts to halt swiftly and counter attack will be futile.  Their tactics are flawless. I have yet to determine how they train for such accuracy.

bad woman driver

What people assume I am doing when they see me swerving during an ambush.

Car trick

What I am actually trying to do.

Becca: 0 Bugs: 1

Show Down #2: Read the rest of this entry

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