Meet “Z”
Some friends just stick. Sometimes those friends actually live outside of the computer screen. “Blasphemy!”. I can hear you thinking it already, but it is true. This post is testament to that. When I first met Z, I was convinced that he was going to set our classroom on fire. Marketing 101. College. His head phones and blaring Tech N9ne were essential to his wardrobe and my uneasiness. Little did I know, he wasn’t actually a murderer but one of my future best friends.
Some friendships are cosmic. He paid me in beer to say that. Part of the deal was also for me to give him some of my spotlight. So without further ado, meet my friend “Z”…
Well hello there! Becky (editor’s note: fuck you) has asked me to step in and fill in some space due to her recent episode of writer’s block. I offered her a couple hits of acid and the leprechauns that do my typing for me, but she refused. I’m not sure why she denied my offer though. Those four creepy little dudes have kept me employed the last three years and even earned me a 2.31 GPA throughout college. Fancy, I know.
Allow me to formally introduce myself. I am Z. Well at least that’s what she named me on here a few times anyway. I’ve been called worse. I am originally from Smackover, Arkansas. Dead serious. Google it. It sucks, I know. But before my recent relocation to the great shit hole of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, the two of us shared roughly 572,890 pitchers of beer together.
I shared with her my knowledge of billiards and was even the third wheel through the entirety of a yearish long relationship of hers. If it wasn’t for her, I would probably be sober. Yes, my life would suck if not for this lovely blonde! (editor’s note again: redhead now dumbass).
Up until recently, I didn’t even know her blog existed. For some reason I had to stalk her on Facebook just to learn this hidden writing talent of hers. But now I understand why we have always texted and only ever spoken on the phone once in our multi-year relationship. And that was more awkward than some random non-blogger dude making an appearance on some chick’s highly popular blog.
When she first asked me to write a guest post, I will admit I giggled with a slight evilness. I thought, “How witty can I be?” and “Oh the people I can piss off with my political views!”. Then I realized she would just delete my post and ban me from the internet, which would cause a riot with the leprechauns. Not worth the risk.
So instead, I must confess to the masses how blessed each of you are to sit right where your rear is currently placed and enjoy reading the very thoughts and ideas that I have been graced with throughout my friendship with Miss Long Johns herself since some time in 2009. I check for new posts quite frequently now, due to the lack of our shared time together. It’s all I can get. She won’t come visit me anymore. Thanks to y’all.
I think I have babbled enough, and her head is probably slightly swollen after reading these kind words. It’s been a pleasure occupying roughly 3-27 minutes of your time. Who knows, maybe one day she will allow me to post something witty and political. Maybe not political but at least witty.
P.S. Her cats are evil. Between Ace, Jack, and my cat allergy, I am surprised I never woke up cross-eyed after drunkenly passing out on her couch all of those nights. Then again, it could have been those three-month old leftovers I always took off of her refrigerator’s hands. Who knows…
Stay tuned tomorrow for the recap of the LaLaBec New Year’s Eve bash. Because you know you don’t remember. Please leave a nice comment for Z while you wait. My writer’s block thanks him and you.
Related articles
- Lee Corso is a leprechaun (sbnation.com)
- Networking : Friends (bbroseproductions.wordpress.com)
- Single People Are Not the Enemy (singlewhitechristian.wordpress.com)
Share this:
Posted on January 8, 2013, in Humor, Silly and tagged 25tofly, baton rouge, Becca Cord, Beer, blog, cat allergy, cats, Friends, friendship, Funny, guest blogging, humor blog, JZ, Leprechaun, life, Louisiana, New Year's Eve, theChive, writers block. Bookmark the permalink. 125 Comments.
Becca used to be blond? I can’t handle this new info. I am ruined.
I blame my genetics.
Nice to meet you, Z! Do you always go around with a towel over your shoulder?
LOL I can confirm this. But it is a t-shirt I believe.
Well, at least you’ll always know where a spare is if Z constantly carries one. In case of emergencies or whatever.
All I have to say to this is MEOW.
And I always wondered who the blonde in the bottom picture was…
And Meow.
And it just passed 4am my time so no judging, please. Can’t sleep. Can’t think.
No judgement here. RAWR. What?
Meooow
What a good friend you have their Becca! I think you were wise to avoid the Leprechauns. I hear they bite, and not in the good way.
There, btw. Typo.
Becca,
Zed’s dead baby.
I just had to.
Le Clown
Awww…we all need a good guy friend to have our back and Z seems perfect!
Is it inappropriate to say I want to be the meat in a Becca and Z sandwich?
Your friends are wittier writers than my friends D:
Hope you boom goes the dynamite all over your writer’s block.
Z rocks.
Sounds like a band name!
And here I was going to ask Z to spill all the embarrassing secrets but Becca would probably perma ban him forever. I repeat the remarks of someone above me… “YOU HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF BLOGGING?” Good on you! Also, its funny how you show off a “dude” and people already think you’re boinking.
I know, right? Come on people. LOL boinking.
Hello Z, pleased to meet you. And thanks Becky for allowing Z to post here! No No leprechaun, it’s B-E-C-C-A Becca. Sorry Becca. I’ll type myself next time; you can’t get the staff! 😉
Hope you’re having a good Tuesday! I’m off to investigate Smackover now…
Thanks Tom. You put those leprechauns in there place!
The Chive shirt? Oh beckae
That last word better not be your try at a nickname for me. It hurts my eyes.
The writer’s block bug bit me too…
…btw, where’s Arkansas? Is that a Canadian Province?
Don’t they have a vaccine for that shit by now? Arkansas is the one RIGHT ABOVE LOUISIANA.
I don’t know where that is either?
…Becca, grab a coffee
Come down, I will show you around.
Leavin’ my place in ten. I’ll be there in twenty five hours.
That quick? Okay, but don’t judge my messy apartment. That’s not nearly enough time to properly clean.
Z’s a lucky guy to know Becca in real life. That isn’t a privilege most of us have. 🙂
Hey! This comment slipped through my radar! Thanks Mike. XOXO
Becca, he sounds like a great guy 🙂
The things I would to be able to say that I’m from Smackover, Arkansas! Haha
At least his name isn’t Dale. Hi, I am Dale from Smackover. That just sounds awful, right? 😉
I hate you right now Becky.
guest blog? oh, so really you just can’t think of anything to write about? huh. next thing you know, you’ll be reblogging old posts just because you think nobody ever read them before. nice. real nice. and to think i was out shopping for a tiara for you last night.
ACTUALLY, I am too busy going through the footage from our NYE party so I can re-tell the story to you all tomorrow. Do I have to do everything around here? Apparently.
yes dear.
How’s your pool game coming? I’ve been out of practice for a while.
What a cutie. You should definitely visit him more often. I think he’s secretly in love with you.
So is his girlfriend ;).
Darn!
darn? that’s a good thing.
Calm down children, mommy and Z are just friends.
that’s funny.
Yes it is a good thing. A very good thing. The darn was in hoping for more than a friendship for Z and Becca. I’m a romantic!
hey hey. don’t forget his girlfriend. can’t leave her out of this.
I wasn’t. That’s what the “good thing” was for – that she loves him. Are you pickin’ on me now? 😉
Who, Rich? Never.
no, not at all. just clarifying.
I think the first conversation between you and me went very well.
i’m ready for round two whenever you are.
Meet you back here tomorrow.
right about now, 1:30?
At 1:30 tomorrow, I will be gnashing my teeth at my accountant’s office. If Becca doesn’t turn off the lights, I will peek in tomorrow evening.
Maddie, it is in your best interest to come back tomorrow. You will see why.
I will be here as soon as I can. Quarterly taxes – ugh!!
What I am talking about doesn’t require a time frame. Just make sure you visit tomorrow at some point :).
Ahhh … New Year’s Eve! I barely remember, but I’m sure I’ll find out. I’ll be here! 🙂
ooooh. i like peekers.
Oh snap, he LJBF’ed you?
Actually she’s in love with Becca just as much as she is me. Possibly more depending on the day….
And here we thought you had no life outside of the computer screen. Clearly you have enough love to go around. Nice to let us have a peak into your friendship with Z. Good people are hard to come by.
Anka, you speak the truth! I am sure he will drool over your avatar. Had to be honest with you.
You sure know how to make a mama feel good! Tell Z it’s all about the lighting.
Anka please feel free to put one word per comment on all replies form now on to maximize the number of times I can look at your pic. I don’t know about the lighting but you definitely lit up the camera! 😉
Z – Becca is a cutie, isn’t she? I can hear a kindness and warmth in your words here. She is lucky to have such a nice guy friend like you. That’s a lot of beer! It’s a pleasure to meet you. Sorry we’ve taken her away from you. Blogging has that effect on people it would seem. You’ll just have to guest post more often! – Amy
Amy, on be half of Z, thank you!
She can be when she wants to be. Usually it’s whenever she leaves the house…. And no worries I would be selfish too. Now that I have figured out this comments section I think I may be visiting more often!
Z,
It’s bad form to outshine a blogger on her own blog
Twindaddy
Becca,
Should I feel privelidged to have known you are naturally blonde before the majority of your dedicated Flysters™?
Twindaddy
Twindaddy, it is bad form to indirectly tell a blogger she has been outshined on her own blog.
Twindaddy, yes, you should feel extremely privileged. Now take back your previous statement.
Becca,
I formally recant the statement previous to my previous statement. My words were taken out of context. I have no excuse. It was the one-armed man.
Twindaddy
You are forgiven, but Z says thanks anyway.
I tried, Z. I tried.
It’s ok we will just keep it our secret and not tell Becca about it from now on.
Hello Z,
Wow, Becca is actually blonde! It is such a relief that I can be a little less awkward, randomly making an appearance on her blog. Becca, you let me obsess over your Redheaded self all this time – yikes! That is some brutal Red Head Evil you have going on!
RidicuRyder
GOT YOU!
So I guess this means we can do lunch sooner than day 333.
I’m still going to LOOK like a real redhead.
Yes…..Stunning, whenever you like then. I am into my project – did you get my back – tracked comment?
I read your post, I just didn’t have time to comment when I read it. I was mobile.
Cool, I would like input when you get a chance.
Ah yes she is blonde in all ways possible….. But she is also the only blonde I would trust with the key to my heart! I won’t give it to her though because she would just keep it use as a bottle opener in her kitchen drawer.
Yeah, you can tell with certain woman how monsterous they would likely become once they possessed your affection. I sense you are very wise Z…..very wise.
I’m about to Google Smackover, just to get the bigger picture….poor guy!! But he should definitely guest blog again. And I will not utter the name he typed – I don’t know you well enough and I don’t need a black eye!!
Smart move. I like you. I’m hoping he will just completely take over. That way I don’t have to keep typing all the time.
Kidding. No one will ever take over my kingdom.
I see you as a “fight to the death” kinda girl….I like that!!
*curtsies*
Ahh I can top Smackover. Google the high school…. “Home of the Fightin’ Buckaroos”. My life sucked for the first 18 years of it…..
Actually the first 21(?) until you met me :).
Does he prefer Zee or Zed?
Zee. I think. He should be answering these comments, but I think he is doing something called “work”.
Zee sounds like a complex, dynamic renaissance man. What is this “work” thing that you speak of?
I still haven’t figured it out.
After invading her blog I would settle for Zim. And this work thing is just a front for the man to contain me from trolling the internet and replying to the very comments that make the internet worth trolling.
“Rebecca” really is one of the most versatile names, in terms of the images/personalities that jump to mind. All the way from “Oh, I grow so weary of the fox hunting and dinner parties here at Snodbury Estates” to “Omigod, do these shoes make my fingernails look fat?”
This comment makes me uneasy.
Sorry – I was up for way too long before finally having coffee, and that just throws my whole brain out of whack. I was thinking about how the name in its various derivations (Rebecca, Becca, Reba, Becky, The Beckster, R-Bex) and depending on how you say it, evokes a lot of different images.
I’ll be in my hammock.
R-Bex. Now that sounds more like me.
Be careful how you proceed. I know your left brain thinks this is all fun and games, but your right brain will regret it later.
Twindaddy, who said you could come in here and be all logical?
Oh, did I miss the rules? I didn’t see any posted.
Real Flysters™ know the rules without having to read them.
I haven’t mastered osmosis yet, but I will just so I can be a real Flyster™. It’s my new life mission.
Very good.
How about, “Let’s discuss the effectiveness of parallelism while in hammocks. We can be in the same hammock if you want”. I don’t know much these days.
27 minutes well spent. Hi Z! Nice to meet you.
Haha! It took me three hours to edit. Just kidding.
Ah nice to meet you as well. My original submission was actually my life’s autobiography. Becca edited out everything that didn’t involve her though.
Fact.
Nice to meet you, Z.
You can set up your own blog and be witty, political, and tell all those stories Becky(?!?) doesn’t want us to hear!
I am punching the next person who dares to type that name here.
Guap, we even had a quote book at one point in college to document our drunken exclamations. Maybe one day I will auction it off when I make it big.
I refuse to allow that book to be sold! Unless the check has atleast 13 digits on it which may be possible.
Good job, Z. You’ve got the talent to start your own blog!
Cathy, we didn’t mention it, but Z is also a master chef in the making. I told him he needs to start a foodie blog, but he won’t listen.
I’d follow him for sure, being a foodie myself. This weekend we had dinner at one of my favorite restaurants in Northern Colorado where we live. The chef there is, in my opinion the best in the area. I had a bison ribeye with soft chive polenta, sauteed chard and a foie gras sauce. Just amazing!
Wow! I didn’t even know those words represented food! I am hungry. I wish he were here to make me breakfast.
The thought has crossed my mind several times. But I’m afraid that if I did it may blow my cover that the pictures of my delicacies I send her are just frauds stolen from pinterest….. I’m not willing to risk her learning that my greatness is just a cover for nightly take out….
I can read your comments you know.
Z, wanna hop over to my blog and write me a post? I’ve got the writer’s block too. Grrr.
Isn’t it the worst? But sorry, you can’t have him. I think he will let you borrow a leprechaun or two though.
I’d be okay with the Leprechauns…or that acid that you turned down. JK!!!!!!…
Yeah. THE worst.
Leprechauns are fun to party with when they get off too.
I can spare a couple of leprachaun’s for you this weekend. The one with the lazy eye is a real pain to put up with. But the fat one is good for blaming my typo’s on. Looks like my leash has been tightened though and services are restricted solely to 25tofly. Blame the “red” head.
Z’s a cutie from Smackover – go with it….
Awwwww yeah.
Pingback: Please Welcome Back Z: The Fugative | 25ToFly