Letters to Those Involved

My phone miraculously disappeared at some point on the night of Saturday 01/26/2013. It’s whereabouts were finally recovered at approximately 6:30 pm Monday night. After I wrote this post…


Dear stranger and/or really bad friend who took my phone,

I hope you didn’t hack my Iphone security code, although it would have only taken you something like 15 million different guesses. I figure that you could have easily try 30 different combinations every minute, which means it would have only taken you a little less than a year to figure it out if the last number you guessed was the correct one. Obviously that doesn’t make any sense, even if it was correct math. But if you got lucky and gained access on your first try, there are things that you need to know:

I am not responsible for the last search in my internet browser. Any voice memos of singing are also a mystery and definitely not me. And, if you even try to tinker with my blog I will find you, and I will kill you. Got it?

Dear AT&T sales guy,

I do not usually look like a frantic homeless person. My hair was still pretty though, right? I was impressed.

I think it is ridiculous that you can not help me locate my Iphone using all of that technology stuff, but Facebook on the other hand, always knows precisely where I am and isn’t afraid to tell everyone without my discretion.

And just so you know, you probably made the easiest sale of your life Sunday morning. You can thank Jim Beam and the gay men of the Krewe of Apollo.

Dear Canes Chicken Fingers,

I have nothing bad to say about you. You were delicious, and for a brief moment while I was stuffing my face of you, I forgot about everything that I lost that day.

After writing such a dramatic post and finally finishing re-downloading all of my apps onto my new Iphone, I got the call that my phone was recovered. Shit happens.  

becca cord signature

About becca3416

Becca Cord is a twenty-something year old southern ballerina turned humor writer and video editor. Having lived in Louisiana her entire life, she is now perusing her travel dreams while starting her own free-lance Web Marketing business and organizing a nation wide blogging event, Blogger Interactive. She believes one of her callings is making people laugh, and she intends to do so. You can find Becca on her personal blog, Facebook page, or Twitter @becca25tofly.

Posted on January 29, 2013, in Humor, Silly and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 75 Comments.

  1. Where was your phone?!

  2. Becca,
    I left my phone on top of my car once when I went back in the house to get something. I got all the way to the on ramp before I heard something on the roof. At the very moment I hit 60 I realized what it was and watched it in the rear-view mirror as it exploded on the ground.
    I thought it would funny by now…at least I didn’t to worry about those incriminating photos!
    Glad it all worked out for you though!
    Red (from the west coast satellite office)

  3. “I think it is ridiculous that you can not help me locate my Iphone using all of that technology stuff, but Facebook on the other hand, always knows precisely where I am and isn’t afraid to tell everyone without my discretion.”


  4. Two iPhones now.
    When it rains, it iPours.

  5. Officially my favourite blog post of the day. And I’ve read loads too. Like…three n everything. Loved it 🙂

  6. So glad to hear the phone was recovered. That is probably the worst feeling in the world when your phone goes missing. Did I read it right when I read the AT & T sales guy made an easy sale. Did you buy a new phone only to have yours recovered? Because THAT would be unfortunate!

  7. Losing a phone is a hard thing. I’m shocked you just got a replacement, re-loaded all your apps, and were good to go. I would have mourned and fretted and cried into the milk carton that had my phone’s photo on it. Nomophobia is me!

    • Oh, it only looks like that from the outside. I came home, crawled into bed, didn’t eat for the rest of the day and had phantom phone syndrome all night long (that’s when you try to open apps, music, or photos that were on your old phone, only to realize you are an idiot, because it isn’t the same phone. Then you proceed to live the death over and over again).

  8. Did the sales guy hit on you, Becca? It would have been the least he could have done considering how much they charge for phones these days…

  9. You know there’s an application that you can install that locates your phone remotely and can also remotely wipe the phone? Get it.

    That reminds me, I need to get that installed too. That way I can safely put booby pictures on my phone. I mean..retain all my sensitive personal data.

  10. Imagine if they’d used your phone for some really inappropriate sexting. Come to think of it, that might explain why your number’s suddenly blocked by your grandparents, grade school teachers and the staff of Trinity Church.

  11. Sorry to hear that you lost your phone, got a new one, and then got your old one back. Well, I’m glad you got your old one back, Becca, although now you have two phones. One for best, and one for, well, if you lose your other one again. Forward planning – put it down to that. But hopefully, you WON’T lose your other phone and from this day forth will have two.

  12. Let’s hope it wasn’t one of your bad friends. If I would have found it, I definitely would have not judged you when I opened the internet. And I definitely wouldn’t have messed with the blog. I know that is. You can mess with the phone and my family but don’t mess with my blog or I will write really mean bitter things about you.

  13. Unfortunately, I have nothing witty to say here, but I’m looking forward to your fictional account of your phone’s whereabouts during its absence. It had better be epic.

  14. I feel for you, Becca. I’ve lost my phone a few times, but had it back before the day was out. I hate buying phones. Our son dropped my phone in the rain once. Didn’t realize it and ran over it with the car. … You didn’t give the phone’s side of the story. Where was it? Who had it? 😉

  15. So glad your hair was still pretty, what a relief. That could have made a bad day super-bad.

  16. Chicken fingers are better than therapy (which I’m so glad you didn’t need after such a traumatic incident). They listen, you know, they really listen

  17. Ugh. AT&T is redonk. I’m glad you got your phone back! Being without one is the worst.

  18. you poor thing. Losing your phone sucks.. And I’m sure the At&t guy thought you were a hot mess. Glad you got your old phone back. Will you now sell your old one? I could use an updated Iphone.

  19. I’ve never lost my phone but I can imagine how horrible that must be. I can imagine how absolutely horrible it must be to buy another phone and then find your old phone. Shit. Now you have two phones, one of which is useless and one of which cost you an arm and a leg. My sincerest sympathies for all the grief you went through. No human being should have to go through this shit. Really.

  20. Well, you can always sell the old phone and recoup some of your losses.

    Plus, you got a great blog post out of the experience!

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