Lyrical Interpretations and Junk
Some musicians just have it, you know. That spark that let’s them enter a part of our brains in which they can do no wrong. It doesn’t happen often, but when it happens to me it is sort of otherworldly. The rhythm of the songs don’t get old, even the most asinine lyrics make sense, and I begin to think every album was written specifically for me.
For example, I give you Alanis Morissette. First of all, her name is fucking Alanis. That is the kind of name that makes the Sarahs, Lindseys, and Beccas of the world feel like lemmings. Then there is her voice. Hurry, think of someone else who sounds like her (okay, besides that Meridith Brooks girl). You can’t.
Keanu, you think of everything.
So you get it, I like Alanis.
I like her regardless of her blatant misuse of the word ironic. I like her regardless off the fact that she either has something very secret and important in one of her pockets at all times, or she’s trying to be discrete about getting off in public. I even like her regardless of the fact that she sings about cross-eyed bears. Those are the lyrics, right? Right?!
That being said, this post isn’t actually about Alanis but rather inspired by her. It may sound jabby but remember, I already said that I liked her, so it is okay.
You all know her little song about “irony” (also known as things that are unfortunate). With all due respect, I can think of a few things that are worse than a free ride when you’ve already paid. If the ride is free you probably don’t want it anyway. Bam!
Here are five things worse than the original “Ironic” lyrics, because I am clever like that:
1. Ten thousand knives when all you need is a spoon. Think about it. It is way more painful to eat soup with a knife than to cut your PB&J with a spoon.
2. Your wedding day… in general. Zing!
3. A traffic jam when you’re already late to your last-chance court date. You’re going to jail, and it looks like someone else is going to have their hand in your pocket. No, probably just completely in your pants without your discretion.
4. Just a “no smoking” sign. Obviously I haven’t quit yet.
5. Meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting all five of his wives. Say what you want, I just wasn’t brought up that way.
BONUS VLOG: About junk. The kind in your drawers. Not drawers as in underwear. Pervert.
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Posted on January 30, 2013, in Humor, Music and tagged 25tofly, Alanis Morissette, alanis morissette meme, Becca Cord, blog, Blogging, cross eyed bear, Eminem, favorite musicians, Funny, funny lyrics, humor, humor blog, ironic, irony, junk, junk drawer, life, Marriage, meaning of irony, misheard lyrics, Music, pockets, unfortunate, vlog, WordPress. Bookmark the permalink. 106 Comments.
I’d like to enquire about no. 5 please.
Five wives = four too many!
I’d say 5 is probably too much too, if it’s not you 😉 although…
Also, how could one possibly afford that!
No shit!
I love number 2! That one is quite unfortunate! As for the vlog question, “What is in your junk drawer?” Well I opened it real quick to answer you (and definitely quick enough so that he-who-is-playing-video games) did not see how bad it really is…and the first thing I found was a confetti gun. Yup one of those guns that makes a ridiculous loud popping sound and shoots confetti literally all over everything…I think I might have a great way to wake someone up in the morning…
I now feel extremely compelled to go on a journey in search of a confetti gun. I only showed y’all my junk basket, which has NOTHING on my actual junk drawer… and possible one other junk basket. I like junk baskets. I have a lot of junk.
Would this cross-eyed bear be related to Gladly, from the hymn “gladly the cross-eyed bear”?
I am going to assume no, but then again Alanis is a sneaky one. You never know!
(The hymn is actually “Gladly the cross I’d bear” but of course, children don’t hear that when they can’t read what’s printed in the hymnbook.)
Alanis is a strange and unusal creature, which is a good thing in my book!
I agree!
I thought her career ended when she left that canadian nickleodeon show.
I am going to pretend you didn’t say that. Can’t you tell I am channeling Nickelodeon with my blog background?
Whoa, you’ve been stepping up your vlogging game. I give 47 thumbs up!
Thanks Tim! I really have fun doing it. If you think these are good, wait until you see what me and another blogger have coming for Valentine’s Day!
I was JUST listening to that song yesterday, thinking things like, “Well, if you already paid, then there’s no way for the ride to be free…”
It’s all very deep Jillian 🙂
Deep like the ocean, which is ironic…
That song always bugged me for that reason. I wonder if she’s all embarrassed by it now? THAT would be ironic.
I guess it will remain one of life’s greatest mysteries. Unless I happen to meet her one day. Then I will be sure to find out and report back.
There’s nothing better than making yourself laugh. That was awesome.
Alanis was also on “You Can’t Do That On Television”, but you may be to young for that. (Old guy points)
Five wives is ridiculous! Three is the magic number.
You cheeky cheeky old man you.
Aw you’re not old. Anyone who describes me making myself laugh with Gumby figurines as “awesome” is not old at all.
Poor Gumby and Pokey….
Hilarious – and slightly unhinged – post, Becca! I loved every word and image, pretty much!
I’ll take it! I was stretching with this post. The vlog and written post usually coincide with one another. Here, I totally went “unhinged”.
Unhinged works for you!
Mom and dad walk in while you’re sexing up your toys.
You: “Well, this is awkward.”
This has happened way too many times. Poor dad.
I was always more into “Head Over Heels” song of Alanis. I though you may have been trying to re-enact that song in your video with Gumby and the horse.
That probably would have been slightly more entertaining, but it is hard to get Gumby to do what you want when he is horny.
Oh, miss, I don’t have Gumby and Pokey in my junk drawer! No fair. That was interesting little dance they did! Nice choice of the music. I enjoyed this, Becca.
It was an odd one, I will admit. But sometimes I have those strange moods and I have to release them somewhere ;). Thanks Amy!
Yo you put all up on that shizznit some creepy dope music that got me all wired up as you be playin’ with those toys, man. Word.
Phat right? I know whats up dawg, don’t get it twisted.
What?
you speak jive too ? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0j2dVuhr6s
Way to um… Play with toys. I have a bunch of crappy old scissors in my junk drawer. I should throw them away.
That’s sad. You don’t have one single toy or strange gel in your junk drawer? Only scissors? What are you cutting so much?!!!
By the way, I just now, today, learned how to properly spell scissors.
No mostly old batteries, scissors and scraps of paper. IM so uninteresting I guess. I need a gumby and poky toys. OH and congrats on finally getting spell check. 😛
The sad part is that I have always has spell check, but none of my spellings were even picking up that I was trying to spell scissor. So I had to Google. That’s what we like to call bad spelling level 1000.
Becca, you have become a very strange young lady. Still sweet, but very strange. The opening of that video was disturbing on several levels. And really, of all the great singers in this world, you pick Alanis Morrisette. Lordy, Lordy, what is up with you child? HF
Disturbing and strange. Yeah. That’s what I was going for. Right.
Well, disturbing and strange in a good way not like in a creepy, Stephen King type of way. More like an Alice in Wonderland type of way. HF
Okay, whew. I was starting to tear up. But in the cutest way possible, not like a Kim Kardashian cry or anything.
Morrisette and Kardashian in the same post — the Mayans were right after all–the world is ending! HF
Her lyrics are what the meme’s call “first world problems” or what I call “my bitter blog”. Needless to say I also like Alanis.
Today I learned that Ben likes to write Alanis lyrics.
Actually Alanis likes to write Bitter Ben lyrics.
I’ll bet she does. You are the reason for the You Oughta Know song aren’t you?
I like to think so.
Well, according to an urban legen or not so legend a guy died for riding a horse belly up, I wouldn’t surprised.
Sounds intense. Poor Gumby. I had no idea.
You have more than one basket, don’t you…
I cut everything with a spoon, even gas.
Impressive! I am eating Salmon with a spoon as we type!
Salmon, mmmm… spoon at least has iron in it!
It’s like drinking non-alcoholic beer cuz you wanna get buzzed.
Perfect!
I seriously heard someone say they were hammered when they were drinking O’douls. It was priceless! And I love Alanis too. 😉
Posers!
Busted!
It is rather ironic that Ironic isn’t ironic at all.
Yes, good. You can copy Keanu. Congrats!
Yeah, I know. I couldn’t think of anything better to say at the time. I was more agreeing than copying, though. Aren’t you supposed to be teaching me something?
Lesson two: If you don’t have anything clever to say, don’t say anything at all.
Kidding, but try harder next time 🙂
I know. I know I let you down. I will do better next time but I didn’t feel right as a dedicated Flyster™ if I didn’t leave a comment.
You made a judgement call under pressure. That is Flysterific™.
Holy crap!! That’s like getting an A+ for effort! Yay me!!
I think you need to reword it to, “..Lindseys, Beccas and Sarahs…” I think I feel less like a rodent or doomed conformist than the other 2. Just a hunch. 😉
At least you are not alone. I am in there too! Consolation: my best friends are Sarahs 😉
My longest best friend is Becca. She used to go by Becky when we first met — we were 5 and 6 years old respectively.
Cute. Not that she went by Becky. Cute in general though.
Plus she is Canadian!
There are few things more awesome than that,
Exactly. Canadians are admittedly way cooler than all other people ever.
As a retired sommelier, I do agree with Alanis that a black fly in her Chardonnay sucks. Maybe better in an earthy Pinot Noir to bring out the mild meat flavor. And why she picking on the black flies?
I know huh? Flies like to unwind sometimes too, right?
And yet one more reason I like you…:-)
SCORE!!!! Thanks ma’am.
It’s funny, just a few months ago I re-stumbled across Morissette. I’d forgotten how just head-on-collision catchy and engaging she was. “You Oughta Know” has become such a punch line for the burned girlfriend stereotype that it’s easy to forget that the song kind of kicks ass.
I am pleasantly surprised to see that you agree BM.
Alan is – mmmm….. food for thought there
Whoa.
You so funny. I like Alanis too. Even if she did go out with Dave Courier. Blech. And why are you not putting your mad skillz to use as a lyricist?
That should have been “Coulier.” Stupid auto correct.
You know, it is funny, when I was working on this a friend of mine asked me what I was writing about. I said lyrics. He asked if I was writing a song. I laughed really hard.
You can write a better song than Alanis. I guarantee that!
Strong words! If you hear a country song about long johns one day…
I think it would be a hit:
Long johns on the line
And Long john in my bed
It’s a sure sign
That my taste in men is dead
Who is the lyricist now?
I feel a collaboration coming on! Ironic, isn’t it? NOPE! HF
I’ll grab my drum sticks and my pen!
“There’s a redhead I know,
With the fire down below
She comes from Louisiana
Where you get crabs, you know.”
It will be a big hit!
Wait a minute, we may want to edit some parts. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves now.
Oh, yeah, I can see where I went wrong. Oh, well, I leave it up to you to make a silk purse out of a sows ear.
One day in the near future, I will be recommending good music for you by artists I’m sure you’ve never heard of, but I’m equally sure you will enjoy. HF
Sounds wonderful Harper!
1. Don’t feel bad about your name’s originality. That’s on your parents, not you.
2. If you meet the man of your dreams and he has one wife, it’s bad because he’s unavailable. If he has five wives…you’ve still got a chance as long as you’re able to share.
I can not argue with your point, although for me that would be a big negative. I don’t share well with others.
Just like my daughter! It makes for some difficult moments now, but at least I can be assured that she won’t have a sister wife when she’s older.
i either read or heard her say that the ironic thing about ironic is that none of those examples are ironic. i think she is smarter than the average bear. i do not think that Meridith sounds like her. Alanis has her very own distinct sound that i s uniquely Morissette. No, i never look up the spelling.
I think she is too smart for that nonsense too, but people will say what they will. I think Meridith Brooks sounds like her, but only in the chorus of “Bitch”.
That is why i do not give much weight to the things people say.
Alanis Morrisette is one of my favorites (even if I’m not sure how to spell her name correctly). I like her songs even when they don’t make sense and I like the music. You rock on, Alanis.
I always have to Google the spelling! Alanis is the woman!
his name isn’t “pokey” for nothing.
Nailed it. I think Gumby should have been on bottom though, since he is the flexible one and all.
He is kind of a twink.
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