First World Work Problems

I admittedly chose this photo solely based on the attractive male in a suit… in a pool.

Parts of this post are hypothetical. Maybe.

I read a post today by Lament’s and Lullalbies that I thought was brilliantly human, which is odd, because I know internet people aren’t people at all, they are aliens. Cool aliens, but aliens nonetheless. Don’t worry, I am not phoning the MIB… yet.

Her post addresses the human condition of struggling between making ends meet and making your dreams come true. She writes in a way that is synonymous with the mosh pit of a thought process that I assume begins in most people’s minds when thinking about these issues. Everyone has an ideal career, or two, or three, or is at least on the search to finding one. Everyone also faces the ongoing obligation to provide for themselves at the same time. It is all a huge balancing act and we don’t have the proper equilibrium. In my case, I am just drunk.

Make-Up Mockery

Not to dis the ultra successful, almighty Mary Kay, but this is exactly what I imagine I willl look like if I wear her products on my face… an old lady.

I must have misunderstood my friend half pint when she suggested that I attend a Mary Kay party hosted by our bartender one of our mutual friends. Maybe I thought she said, “Be at my house Thursday for a night full of bloody marys, kay?”. That would explain things a little better.

Firstly, I wasn’t really aware that Mary Kay is still around let alone that make-up is still being sold door to door disguised as a “party”. Sorry, but the only items I want someone selling to me in the comfort of my own home are pizzas and sex toys. Secondly, do people actually make money doing this? If so, is it even worth it? I’ll admit I am a bit bias being that the color pink makes me want to punch a baby (calm down, it’s called a hyperbole). Plus, I can’t say that I see the career appeal of driving a pastel colored vehicle of any shade. Nonetheless, I never falter in my friendship duties, so I will be atending this charade promptly at 7:30 pm tomorrow. I’ll even bring dessert.

Why can’t I hold all this make-up? LOL!

Even if Mary Kay is there herself, looking like she came straight off of the set of Tootsie as Dustin Hoffman’s stunt double, I will stand proud by my chums. I only hope that they will forgive me when I disappear after making an obligatory I-feel-guilt-tripped-into-buying-from-you-because-you’re-my-friend purchase. They will find me out back pretending my new lipstick is a smoke, finishing off a bottle of wine and hoarding the bread pudding.

Seriously though, apparently Mary Kay is still an extremely prevalent business, and I am not one to judge how others attempt to stash their cash … as long as I don’t have to participate. But, I will endorse the hell out of my own blog without trying to put blush on you. Click here and simply copy and paste this in to the post box: Becca at 25toFly likes to high-five herself.

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Fake It ‘Till You Make It Via Vistaprint

Get it? F-O-L-L-O-W-ing up. Sometimes I am so cheesy clever it hurts.

[Vistaprint is a sweet site where you can design and order 250 free business cards. All you pay for is shipping. The free cards have a somewhat limited variety of designs to choose from, but hey, it’s free and if you are as clever as me (sarcasm alert) then you don’t need fancy graphics or anything over the top to get someone’s attention. And that makes for a good first impression. If you can’t think of your own shameless cute puns and want to go for the fancy stuff, you can get out your wallet too. Just don’t forget to try these coupons. You’re welcome.]

We have all heard the phrase. What does it really mean to “fake it ’till you make it”?

Let me begin by explaining that when I initially graduated from college, I had absolutely no notion of what I was looking for career wise. I only knew that I needed money. I didn’t care where it came from as long as I no longer had to serve chips and salsa and the job title didn’t include the prefix “tele”. Although, I would imagine becoming a teleport-er might be a pretty fun position if it existed.

Luckily, it didn’t take me long to realize exactly what I wanted my career path to involve. My passion (wild right?). That passion being for writing/blogging, through which I also became fascinated with social media marketing. Boom. Success here I come, right? Well, there was just one problem. I had less faith in myself as a writer than I had in becoming the next Celine Dion.

First, I had to muster up some hope. Adding in a little determination and perseverance, I eventually emerged at a different mindset. That is where the whole fake it ’till you make it idea came in. The inspiration behind this adage is that it helps to manifest confidence. Confidence, in turn, produces positive results towards achieving goals. I got to thinking about some of the things that help people exude confidence. One of those things is credentials. I can tell everyone I meet that I am a writer, but the truth is that people like tangible stuff.

I hoard keep a lot of business cards. You never know who you might want or need to contact in the future. I keep them all safely jammed in my wallet so that I can access them at anytime. If only there were some sort of technology that could store all of these contacts for me. Anyway, upon opening my wallet one day in search of cash that is never there, I noticed my bulge of cards. I thought, “that’s exactly what I need to give myself some confidence” – aside from a fake Journalism or English diploma. While I do have a degree and experience in Marketing, I certainly do not have a specialized piece of paper that says I am a certified writing machine. That would be too convenient.

I remember when I was a sales and marketing intern for a start-up web company a few years back. During sales pitches, the flash and/or exchange of the business card meant you were the real deal and always helped me act a little smoother. So, who says that I can’t have a 3.5″x2″ piece of stock paper that includes the title of writer? After all, I do write, and this blog is proof of that. So, I began my mission to create my own business card. Funny the power such a small piece of paper can hold. The moment I gave out that first card, it all seemed possible.

Do you think faking it ’till you make it is legitimate advice worth taking? Why or why not?

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10 Things You Should Know About Your First “Real” Job

Not just some strange office supply guillotine

1. Go ahead and come to terms with the fact that after the initial month or so of getting used to your new schedule, you may never sleep past 8:00 again.  Also, your hang-overs just automatically went from a 3 to a 10 on the I’m-never-drinking-again scale, so be prepared.

2. You can be twenty minutes early every day to work, and no one will notice, but the one day you are late will live in infamy.

3. The picture up there? That is a letter opener. The only one I saw before looked like a dagger out of a scene from The Princess Bride.

4. Do not, under any circumstances, disclose information regarding your personal life unless you are one hundred percent ok with the entire office knowing about it. Your “work wife/husband” will betray you and  you won’t get half of his/her paycheck in the divorce. My advice is: be so vague that you are borderline vogue.

5. You are young, so if you have a significant other, you are facing two options. At some point, someone will inquire about your relationship status. If you claim single, people will either perpetually ask you how your weekend was with that insinuating eyebrow lift, or they will try to set you up with anyone with a pulse. This is usually accompanied by the same look one gives an orphan puppy. In the case that you do admit to a taken status, everyone will want to know your significant other’s entire pedigree. Cue advice you didn’t ask for.

6. No one is going to remind to take your vacation days. No one will nag you to join in on the company insurance plan. No one will automatically sign you up for that 401K plan promised to you. You have to keep up with making sure these things get put in to action.

7. The phrase “just kidding,” or “you know not to take it seriously,” or any such equivalent is simply a cop-out for people to feel like they aren’t really actually sexually harassing you.

8. You can’t just sit anywhere at the Christmas party brunch. If you are the newest member to ABC Inc., you sit last. Same goes with parking. On any day.

9. Never pay for coffee. My love affair with Starbucks is strong too, but for $4 a day, you mind as well be a pack a day smoker. Minus the whole cancer thing.

10. Be aware of the sneaky Bcc (blind carbon copy) in e-mails. If you are anything like me, you didn’t even know what the plain cc meant let alone one with sight issues. Bcc is a way of attaching multiple recipients to an e-mail without those recipients being able to see everyone attached. So, if Suzie isn’t getting her part of a project done, and I send her an e-mail addressing the problem with a Bcc to our supervisor, Suzie’s response could either doom or save her all while she has no idea boss woman is watching. Shady? Yes. Does anyone care? No.

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Concocting Your Life Recipe

The world is now a hungry food critic and you are a chef whose knowledge, skills, work experiences, and the like are now ingredients for a meal. Go.

Everyone owns a very specific and unique set of ingredients to offer the world. The world, in turn, is a hungry place. It has plenty of Ramen Noodles already stock piling in its pantry, and it certainly won’t tolerate canned corn beef hash. The world constantly yearns for new recipes. It doesn’t mind if the recipe is a classic, say spaghetti, as long as it has just the right taste. The world, also a daring eater, is willing to try exotic dishes just as long as they aren’t potentially fatal (think blow fish).

I personally don’t believe in the ability to concoct brilliant meals using just one or two ingredients.

From AIM to CSS

Aside from my love of writing, I have a somewhat equal love of manipulating technology (well trying at least) and computers specifically to do and create cool things. I forgot about this passion until recently. It occurred when I was reminiscing about my childhood. When I was on the brink of becoming a teenager, my parents bestowed me with my first personal computer. It was a lavish Christmas present and a Compaq (yuck). At first, I was only stoked for one thing. The thing that all us youngsters crazed over at that time. AOL. More specifically, AIM (AOL Instant Messenger). If you are in your twenties, you know what’s up.

After attempting several different screen names (unfortunately every possible combination of HotChick plus a random set of numbers was already assigned), I finally found an available name and set up my buddy list. Can you imagine if those e-mail addresses stuck with us for life? How awful. Anyway, after weeks of disobeying bed time and holding  ridiculously long chats consisting of nothing but emoticons and various clever laughable “away” messages, I was becoming bored with AIM. I began to explore the inner caves of the internet. I started a blog without even knowing I was blogging. I created myself a flashy diaryland.com account. Of course, the only one reading my nonsensical blabbing was me.

Actually, thinking back on it, I remember being more in to other aspects of the site apart from just writing.

Cutting the Cord with Cable

When I am not intimidating big burly off-shore men as safety personnel by day, or out getting my billiards on at night, you can usually find me at home. More specifically in these two places:

I have composed a short list of things I do when I am at my pad: (Note: all of these activities are performed while listening to the radio, my Ipod, or Pandora and usually a combination of all three. There are many pirouettes, hair whips, and running sock slides accompanying these activities as well. I have all wooden floors, so it’s only fair to use them.)

1. Read, write, Reddit, Chive, Facebook, Twitter, etc. Basically I do the Internet.

2. Cook… or pull out every snack item I own in attempts to put together a quasi-meal instead of cooking. The majority of the time I actually do cook, but come on, even award winning chefs get lazy right?

3. Sit on my balcony drinking wine while on the phone for extended periods of time, usually with Booger. You see, all of my friends decided to abandon me simultaneously, like I am the riot gun and they are the rubber bullets, so the phone time is essential .

4. Clean.

5. Chase around this ferocious and boisterous beast that refuses to accept that my kitchen counters are not his personal play towers.

There is more, but those are the main events at club Becca. What’s the point in me telling you this?