Category Archives: Business
First World Work Problems
Parts of this post are hypothetical. Maybe.
I read a post today by Lament’s and Lullalbies that I thought was brilliantly human, which is odd, because I know internet people aren’t people at all, they are aliens. Cool aliens, but aliens nonetheless. Don’t worry, I am not phoning the MIB… yet.
Her post addresses the human condition of struggling between making ends meet and making your dreams come true. She writes in a way that is synonymous with the mosh pit of a thought process that I assume begins in most people’s minds when thinking about these issues. Everyone has an ideal career, or two, or three, or is at least on the search to finding one. Everyone also faces the ongoing obligation to provide for themselves at the same time. It is all a huge balancing act and we don’t have the proper equilibrium. In my case, I am just drunk. Read the rest of this entry
10 Things You Should Know About Your First “Real” Job
1. Go ahead and come to terms with the fact that after the initial month or so of getting used to your new schedule, you may never sleep past 8:00 again. Also, your hang-overs just automatically went from a 3 to a 10 on the I’m-never-drinking-again scale, so be prepared.
2. You can be twenty minutes early every day to work, and no one will notice, but the one day you are late will live in infamy.
3. The picture up there? That is a letter opener. The only one I saw before looked like a dagger out of a scene from The Princess Bride.
4. Do not, under any circumstances, disclose information regarding your personal life unless you are one hundred percent ok with the entire office knowing about it. Your “work wife/husband” will betray you and you won’t get half of his/her paycheck in the divorce. My advice is: be so vague that you are borderline vogue.
5. You are young, so if you have a significant other, you are facing two options. At some point, someone will inquire about your relationship status. If you claim single, people will either perpetually ask you how your weekend was with that insinuating eyebrow lift, or they will try to set you up with anyone with a pulse. This is usually accompanied by the same look one gives an orphan puppy. In the case that you do admit to a taken status, everyone will want to know your significant other’s entire pedigree. Cue advice you didn’t ask for.
6. No one is going to remind to take your vacation days. No one will nag you to join in on the company insurance plan. No one will automatically sign you up for that 401K plan promised to you. You have to keep up with making sure these things get put in to action.
7. The phrase “just kidding,” or “you know not to take it seriously,” or any such equivalent is simply a cop-out for people to feel like they aren’t really actually sexually harassing you.
8. You can’t just sit anywhere at the Christmas party brunch. If you are the newest member to ABC Inc., you sit last. Same goes with parking. On any day.
9. Never pay for coffee. My love affair with Starbucks is strong too, but for $4 a day, you mind as well be a pack a day smoker. Minus the whole cancer thing.
10. Be aware of the sneaky Bcc (blind carbon copy) in e-mails. If you are anything like me, you didn’t even know what the plain cc meant let alone one with sight issues. Bcc is a way of attaching multiple recipients to an e-mail without those recipients being able to see everyone attached. So, if Suzie isn’t getting her part of a project done, and I send her an e-mail addressing the problem with a Bcc to our supervisor, Suzie’s response could either doom or save her all while she has no idea boss woman is watching. Shady? Yes. Does anyone care? No.
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Concocting Your Life Recipe
The world is now a hungry food critic and you are a chef whose knowledge, skills, work experiences, and the like are now ingredients for a meal. Go.
Everyone owns a very specific and unique set of ingredients to offer the world. The world, in turn, is a hungry place. It has plenty of Ramen Noodles already stock piling in its pantry, and it certainly won’t tolerate canned corn beef hash. The world constantly yearns for new recipes. It doesn’t mind if the recipe is a classic, say spaghetti, as long as it has just the right taste. The world, also a daring eater, is willing to try exotic dishes just as long as they aren’t potentially fatal (think blow fish).
I personally don’t believe in the ability to concoct brilliant meals using just one or two ingredients. Read the rest of this entry
Cutting the Cord with Cable
When I am not intimidating big burly off-shore men as safety personnel by day, or out getting my billiards on at night, you can usually find me at home. More specifically in these two places:
I have composed a short list of things I do when I am at my pad: (Note: all of these activities are performed while listening to the radio, my Ipod, or Pandora and usually a combination of all three. There are many pirouettes, hair whips, and running sock slides accompanying these activities as well. I have all wooden floors, so it’s only fair to use them.)
1. Read, write, Reddit, Chive, Facebook, Twitter, etc. Basically I do the Internet.
2. Cook… or pull out every snack item I own in attempts to put together a quasi-meal instead of cooking. The majority of the time I actually do cook, but come on, even award winning chefs get lazy right?
3. Sit on my balcony drinking wine while on the phone for extended periods of time, usually with Booger. You see, all of my friends decided to abandon me simultaneously, like I am the riot gun and they are the rubber bullets, so the phone time is essential .
4. Clean.
5. Chase around this ferocious and boisterous beast that refuses to accept that my kitchen counters are not his personal play towers.
There is more, but those are the main events at club Becca. What’s the point in me telling you this? Read the rest of this entry