Category Archives: Opinion
I’d hoped to soon post some brag pictures of myself casually looking off into the distance, wind in my hair, and with nothing but clouds in the background. Or, maybe me and Ryan Gosling embraced in a contrived but nonsensical pose as we ascended up and away. Unfortunately, my plans to ride in a hot air balloon for the 4th of July block party on Tuesday night crashed straight into a power line (not literally). Ryan stood me up too. Jerk. The weather decided to act a fool the afternoon festivities were to commence, and upon arriving home from work and seeing no over sized inverted tear drop shaped balloons in sight, I assumed it was a no go. So, I went to a bar to meet some friends as consolation. Well, you know what annoyingly corny people say about assuming…
[Apparently the balloon did manifest itself at some point in the hour that I was away from the party. There were also reports that Ryan actually showed up as well and did a nude swan dive into the pond. Bastards. ]
That is the thing about expectations and planning. Convinced that they are both almost always self-destructive, I think I will quit making them. That whole night was the exact opposite of what I planned in my mind. It was so disappointing, that I actually wrote the most depressing draft for a post while slouched in the corner of my balcony as I watched the last and only fireworks I got to see that night pathetically sort of half explode. Must have been the left over duds arriving late to the party, just like me. It was probably the most unnecessarily dramatic thing I have ever written and certainly not appropriate for the tone of this particular blog. Although I will say, I am good at following Hemingway’s advice to, “Write drunk; edit sober”.
I deleted the pity party post the next morning when I pretty much woke up face down on my keyboard. But, to end on a lighter note, while I did not get to balloon cruise that night, I did make up for it on the actual 4th of July. A few friends, a few beers, and lawn chairs on a roof. Can’t get any
more redneck better than that. I regret nothing.
- Up (25tofly.com)
- A Hot Air Balloon Shaped Like Darth Vader (neatorama.com)
- Hot Air Ballooning – a bird’s eye view (gorentals.co.nz)
Today I have two orders of business. I so wish I had a gavel and had just said that out loud. The first includes me thanking a really kick-ass person by the name of Jillian. She has awarded me with my second blog award, the One Lovely Blog Award, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. I am
secretly openly envious of her bravery as she takes on Southeastern Europe. She is all about couch surfing, bungee jumping, and smooth talking security. Seriously, some of the stuff she does makes my zip lining excursion look like mini-golf in comparison. You can tag along on Jillian’s journeys here. Thanks for the compliment and added encouragement Jillian.
(Probably) Super official rules of accepting this award:
1. Thank the person/people who nominated you and link back to them in your post.
2. Share seven possibly unknown things about yourself.
3. Nominate fifteen or so bloggers you admire.
4. Contact the chosen bloggers to let them know and link back to them.
I’ll go ahead and get this out of the way:
1. I have an artificial right upper lateral. Also known as… I gots a fake tooth, ya heard. I was born without the permanent one that’s supposed to be there.
2. In my super viable medical opinion, I believe that very tooth got lost somewhere in the incubation period of my existence. Turns out it was just chilling with my wisdom teeth. That’s right, I had five wisdom teeth.
3. That’s enough about my dental history, but along the same lines I have never broken a bone.
4. My feline children are named after playing cards.
5. Whiskey is my biggest vice.
6. I absolutely can not wear socks under covers and definitely will not sleep in them.
7. I am in serious relationships with a lot of inanimate objects… but if you have been reading along with my blog for a while, you probably already knew that.
And now, I am going in to slacker mode and cheating a little bit. It is Friday and fifteen blogs is a lot, so I am going to slice that in half. Everyone who is anyone cheats on these things anyway right? We will just call it tweaking the rules. Here are some of my latest blog crushes. Does a blog count as an inanimate object? I mean the physical blog is inanimate, but the people writing them are not. Wow, this will be a long day. Back to the podium, and mind you these are in no specific order.
Kenny is an aspiring comedian. He is funny and insightful. You will like him. Oh, did I mention he sings?
I wish I could have been around when this guy was teaching, or rather, I wish this guy could have been around when I was learning. Either way I am sure he will correct me and then flatter me. Oh Rich, how I enjoy our interactions.
Using his units of measure, this guy is pretty sweet. Awesome dad. He will make you cry, then make you laugh.
I hate that I have never done half the outdoorsy stuff Sarah does, but I love living vicariously through her blog. Man, do all the cool people live in New England?
This one is definitely in my top five favorite blogs. If you like book writing bellmen, here’s your guy.
This blogger has a spiffy design to her blog, and I think her blog name is catchy to boot. Plus, she writes interesting stuff.
He is not a business man, he is a business, man. That comes straight from this guy’s about page. We’ve got a clever one here. Read his blog.
All I can say is inspiring. I would say much more, but now my fingers are sleepy. I have much love for this blog as well.
I am sure most of these people don’t need me to nominate them for some award. I am equally certain they must all know they are wonderful already. Regardless, there it is. If I have missed some sort of anti-award clause somewhere in your information, I apologize. I probably shouldn’t get ahold of a gavel after all.
Oh yeah, and for the second order of business, remember how I actually won something that one time? Probably not, but my prize finally arrived. Findingravity is the shiz.
- One Lovely Blog and Kreativ Blogger Award (jabelah.wordpress.com)
- One Lovely Award and Blessing (inlovewiththelord.wordpress.com)
- Awards! Many lovely awards … (evatenter.wordpress.com)
[When you meet the right store, you just know. It means never having to ask, “Where is the Bounty?”.]
One of the main reasons I moved in to the apartment I currently live in, was because of the central location to my favorite grocery store, gas stations, and the blessing that is CVS. CVS always has treated me kindly. It has my favorite wines at a decent price. They have not only one but two actually functioning Redbox machines. You’ve got to love movie vending machines. Add a slot for dispensing popcorn and M&M’s and it’s on (but only if mixed together). Also, it is much more convenient than weaving through the grocery store when all I need is a little lion food and tiger litter. I will dodge the grocery store every time if possible, unless I have a guided list and more than ten items for which to hunt.
The first few trips to my new haven were just as delightful as I imagined. As things were going so well already, I quickly found myself envisioning a lifelong future developing for CVS and I. The perfect consumer-retailer union. That’s when, as it usually plays out in relationships (mine at least), the true identity of my beloved store began to slip through the cracks of its sleek ruby exterior. We had a problem. My CVS had been concealing a Mr. Hyde. The cashier. Read the rest of this entry
[Awww yeahhh 1993. What a bright pink bathing suit I’ve got there. Wait a damn minute, was that really almost twenty years ago?!]
Sometimes I forget about things. Sometimes I get lazy. Sometimes I do both simultaneously.
As I was driving down the highway, I could hear the ice chest in the trunk sloshing around. It sounded like I had a dead body back there. We were close enough to the next stop we were making on our way to Denham Springs for me to ignore it for a few more miles. We finally pulled up on the curb of a friend’s house. The caravan of cars ahead of us had filed neatly into the driveway.
I peeled myself from the driver’s seat and went around the rear of my car. I figured I would investigate what was causing my ice chest to slingshot around my back seat like a bouncy ball. My friend had initially loaded the ice chest. Since I frequently stash things in my trunk (don’t worry, nothing that’s alive… wait that didn’t sound right), I knew there was no telling what I would rediscover when I opened that door.
Whew, it was only an old box. A half-opened old box labeled memories. Read the rest of this entry
About two weeks ago, I finally pep talked myself back in to my workout regime. I keep it rather basic. Walking and running intervals for cardio, a few push-ups and squats, and a lot of stretching. All was going well, and I had finally gotten over the don’t wants phase, when my shoes decided they didn’t like my knees and proceeded to launch full on warfare.
Last year I purchased a pair of Sketchers Shape-Ups. A couple of my friends swore up and down their asses were on the fast track to putting Jennifer Anniston’s to shame, so naturally I joined the ass bandwagon. I didn’t run much last year, but I did justify my lack of working out by doing all of my shopping in those backstabbing shoes. Because I never had an issue with them (besides that they really do nothing for improving your physique), I didn’t think twice about lacing up this year and hitting the pavement.
Wednesday, while at the gym, I started to notice a few strange sensations. Read the rest of this entry
Is it just me, or is Tuesday the most uneventful day of the week? Check it out.
- Monday may very well be the black sheep of the weekday family, but at least it is known for something. At least you can fill the hours of your day with incessant bitching.
- Wednesday is kind of like the just-popular-enough step brother of Thursday. It also is often referred to by using the word hump. The only time this is a bad thing is when you are driving over a misnamed speed
humpbump going way too fast.
- Thursday is just close enough to Friday to put some pep back in your step. It is also my favorite weekday (dubbed thirsty Thursday), because by then yours truly becomes parched, and the only remedy is Jim Beam.
- Friday = Parties, paychecks, and pandemonium. I don’t think elaboration is necessary.
- Saturday is Mecca. Saturday is that distant cousin who ran off from the weekday family to live a Summer in Paris sipping Cafe au Lait by day and squandering Absinthe by night. It is the day to sleep in, do whatever you want, and then entertain the enchanting notions of the unpredictable course Saturday night could take you.
- Finally, there is Sunday Funday. Even the most chill day of the week gets an inviting name. Host of family barbecues, abundant naps, football, catching up on housework, and maybe even a little front porch swing action, Sunday is akin to Wednesday but with slightly better genes.
What happened to Tuesday? Read the rest of this entry
The world is now a hungry food critic and you are a chef whose knowledge, skills, work experiences, and the like are now ingredients for a meal. Go.
Everyone owns a very specific and unique set of ingredients to offer the world. The world, in turn, is a hungry place. It has plenty of Ramen Noodles already stock piling in its pantry, and it certainly won’t tolerate canned corn beef hash. The world constantly yearns for new recipes. It doesn’t mind if the recipe is a classic, say spaghetti, as long as it has just the right taste. The world, also a daring eater, is willing to try exotic dishes just as long as they aren’t potentially fatal (think blow fish).
I personally don’t believe in the ability to concoct brilliant meals using just one or two ingredients. Read the rest of this entry
In lieu of Mother’s Day this past Sunday…
It always bewilders me just how much (with every inch of my soul) I deeply believed that my mother was always so wrong. Although I’d always heard the adage, “mom knows best,” I convinced myself every time that her conservative old world thinking and new world culture bias was preventing her from thinking clearly. It is perfectly fine to give out my address over the internet. I don’t need a more practical degree. Love is all that matters in a relationship.
False. What isn’t false is that the proverb is true for a reason. My mother, along with all the other moms of the world, has a special secret weapon. Guess what? She has lived many more years than her offspring. She has lived, failed, learned, and gone to figure it out a little better the next time. Now, I am not saying that everything moms say is the holy grail of advice, or that when she tells you cats make better friends than humans, that you should clean out the pound of all things feline. I also understand not all moms are created equally. I am simply acknowledging that they know stuff. More stuff than I do at least. Either way, these are just a few of the ways I had to face the dreadful and horribly humbling thought revelation… my mom was right. Read the rest of this entry