Category Archives: work
A month ago, I received an e-mail from the people who created The Snugg, requesting a review of one of their products. I get quite a few of these request, and I don’t usually do reviews, but occasionally something peaks my interest. Remember the Shakoolie? Read the rest of this entry
My last post bestowed upon the world can not be a repost about fucking Tuesdays. I just can’t allow that to happen. It’s pathetic. Instead I made a meme, because Jen said they are cool, and we are a power couple, so there.
If you are a logical human being, you don’t think the world will suddenly end tomorrow in a clusterfuck of literally earth shattering natural phenomenons that will eventually result in me getting into a plane with John Cusack and an amateur pilot.
I am one of those logical people (reluctantly because I have a serious lady boner for John Cusack).
This doesn’t mean, however, that I will not use the ridiculous prediction to my advantage to get away with all kinds of unacceptable behavior between now and December 22nd. You should take advantage of this too. In fact, I started last night. Here are some examples to give your mind a head-start on coming up with risky ideas. Read the rest of this entry
A few weeks ago I moved into a new office. It is shiny, and I got to buy an office chair. I felt like such a pimp. An office supply pimp.
With new offices comes new responsibilities. It also comes with a little bit of celebratory seven layer dip that I may have eaten half of before bringing to the office. While we have enough dip to last us until next Cinco de Mayo, what we don’t have is a copy machine. I need to make copies. I am a big deal. Plus, copies are important, vital to business, and something about the bottom line.
In order to make copies I have to venture across a street to my company’s original building. I could probably walk. I certainly could drive my car. But, that’s not how we new-office-dwellers roll. This is how we roll:
All of this is wonderful news, right? Yes, but let me get to the point. In order to
crash drive into the main building with this pimpmobile, you have to drive through an area that requires that safety glasses and a hard hat be worn.
If you have read Why I Am Here, you are getting an A+. I am not sure on what, but it’s an honor, okay? If you read it, you would also know that I don’t own a hard hat. “Sadly”. Today, that has changed. Today, I must edit every bio I have ever released into the wild of the internet (because they are all the same). Today, I am legit. Read the rest of this entry
When there are times that I am wrong (rarely ever), I say I am wrong. This is one of those times. I’ll start by extending an apology to the late Mary Kay. I don’t assume it is good for one’s karma to insinuate that the deceased mogul resembles a cross dressing Dustin Hoffman. In my defense, I wasn’t aware she wasn’t still around until last night at the “party”. Obviously, I am not a Mary Kay historian.
I have to give the company the credit it truly deserves. My apology is for judging the mascara by its applicator so to speak. Don’t worry, I wasn’t talked into joining the cult. I am not quitting my day job nor my dream of becoming a writer to paint pouts and strut around in mink stoles (knowledge courtesy of Ms. Carolina). However, my perception of Mary Kay as changed for the better. Prior to last night, those perceptions were frozen in time. The last impression I have of the brand dates back to ’02 when I couldn’t escape the sight of my best friend’s high-resolution eye shadow every day in math class. She always bragged that it was Mary Kay and that her mother was a beauty consultant… so of course she knew what she was doing.
The truth is that I actually ended up buying about seventy dollars worth of the stuff and my purchases weren’t even influenced by friend-guilt. Well played Mary Kay, well played.
My second apology is to those of you who read this blog and is in regards to my post about not telling your friends if you plan to quit smoking. I am a lying hypocrite. Why? Because I did tell my friends. I told all of you. I consider anyone a friend who takes the time to read my junk (that’s what she said?). So, I apologize for not taking my own advice, and I sincerely thank all my blogging friends for being such dashing human beings. Unless you don’t think we are friends, in which case I hope you choke on a mink stole.
- Tired Eyes? :: A Mary Kay Giveaway AND Discount Offer! (iloveyoumorethancarrots.com)
- New iPhone App Aims to Help Mary Kay, Thirty-One Gifts Consultants Do More Business (prweb.com)
- Mary Kay Aims to Raise Awareness of Domestic Violence (bellasugar.com)
1. Go ahead and come to terms with the fact that after the initial month or so of getting used to your new schedule, you may never sleep past 8:00 again. Also, your hang-overs just automatically went from a 3 to a 10 on the I’m-never-drinking-again scale, so be prepared.
2. You can be twenty minutes early every day to work, and no one will notice, but the one day you are late will live in infamy.
3. The picture up there? That is a letter opener. The only one I saw before looked like a dagger out of a scene from The Princess Bride.
4. Do not, under any circumstances, disclose information regarding your personal life unless you are one hundred percent ok with the entire office knowing about it. Your “work wife/husband” will betray you and you won’t get half of his/her paycheck in the divorce. My advice is: be so vague that you are borderline vogue.
5. You are young, so if you have a significant other, you are facing two options. At some point, someone will inquire about your relationship status. If you claim single, people will either perpetually ask you how your weekend was with that insinuating eyebrow lift, or they will try to set you up with anyone with a pulse. This is usually accompanied by the same look one gives an orphan puppy. In the case that you do admit to a taken status, everyone will want to know your significant other’s entire pedigree. Cue advice you didn’t ask for.
6. No one is going to remind to take your vacation days. No one will nag you to join in on the company insurance plan. No one will automatically sign you up for that 401K plan promised to you. You have to keep up with making sure these things get put in to action.
7. The phrase “just kidding,” or “you know not to take it seriously,” or any such equivalent is simply a cop-out for people to feel like they aren’t really actually sexually harassing you.
8. You can’t just sit anywhere at the Christmas party brunch. If you are the newest member to ABC Inc., you sit last. Same goes with parking. On any day.
9. Never pay for coffee. My love affair with Starbucks is strong too, but for $4 a day, you mind as well be a pack a day smoker. Minus the whole cancer thing.
10. Be aware of the sneaky Bcc (blind carbon copy) in e-mails. If you are anything like me, you didn’t even know what the plain cc meant let alone one with sight issues. Bcc is a way of attaching multiple recipients to an e-mail without those recipients being able to see everyone attached. So, if Suzie isn’t getting her part of a project done, and I send her an e-mail addressing the problem with a Bcc to our supervisor, Suzie’s response could either doom or save her all while she has no idea boss woman is watching. Shady? Yes. Does anyone care? No.
- [Email Tip] Save Time by Sending Email Blind | Blog (rackspace.com)
- POP vs IMAP mail (stacyrlewis.wordpress.com)
- E-mail ettiquette–Jasmine’s Tech Dos & Don’ts (reviews.cnet.com)
Because I can see you getting green in the face hearing about Boston this and Boston that like I am an eleven year old gushing about how I want to marry Patrick Swayze (why did you leave me!), today’s post will not mention Beantown. Except for that last sentence.
Yesterday tried to break me. It tried hard. It pulled out every anvil and TNT labeled box it had and dropped them directly on top of my groggy little head. The only problem was that it didn’t quite kill me. I was as resilient as the never-dying cartoon characters, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t look and feel like complete roadkill. It all started with a lack of sleep due to a cold/sinus infection/lupus/cancer or whatever other illness the web’s symptom checkers told me I have.
Somewhere I read that riding in an airplane can make you more susceptible to sinus issues. Judging from the delightful time I had on my plane rides, and considering I feel like my ears are still popping, I think I’ve nailed the culprit. At least I don’t really have lupus. Read the rest of this entry