I know everyone must think this, but bugs in general are out to get me specifically. Bugs and frogs, but today we are just going to discuss the bugs. They know my name, what apartment I live in, and have a tracking system planted somewhere on my vehicle that I can’t locate. I guess that’s because a bug made locator device would be rather microscopic, but whatever. The point is that they are watching me. They are. The proof is in the battles.
Show Down #1:
I never roll my windows all the way down in my vehicle. I’m have long hair, and I bitch when the wind messes it up. There I said it. I am very much a girl. A small crack will always suffice when needing fresh air. Until they missile their way into my vehicle that is. They strategically wait to strike until they see that I have exceeded 50 mph. On the highway. In rush hour.
They know my attempts to halt swiftly and counter attack will be futile. Their tactics are flawless. I have yet to determine how they train for such accuracy.
Becca: 0 Bugs: 1
Show Down #2: Read the rest of this entry
Tomorrow I am off. I am pretty elated… minus the monstrous bug invading my office this morning. So, I am trying something different/fun. Consider it a little GIF-t from me to you (hopefully). Also, keeping it short and sweet today. (Hint: you have to click the linked bits for maximum hilarity)
Upon waking up this morning, I was in chipper spirits. Today is Thursday playing dress up as Friday, which is always acceptable. As I took my jaunt in to work, I could see that everyone was sporting the glow that accompanies a short work week. I flung open the door to my office ready to don my thinking cap for the day. No sooner than I had cozy-ed in to my chair, I caught glimpse of something (actual photo) out of the corner of my eye. Suddenly my lackadaisical day became seriously disturbed.
Let the battle begin.
First thing was first. I had to develop my strategy. Only two options seemed to prove practical. To crush, or to tactically poison. With no sufficient smashing apparatuses, I prepared to gas the unfortunate crawler. I took my stare off of the intruder for only a moment to grab my trusty can of Bug Stop. I whipped back around to find my opponent charging straight for me. Action had to be taken immediately. No more pussy footing around. After preforming a few flawless squirms, I succeeded in sealing its fate. Once the last leg ceased twitching, I peered up to find that I was being watched the whole time. A co-worker was apparently entertained by my battle. I proceeded to shoot him one of these. Fin.
BONUS – Because I have no self control.