As promised, I have decided that today I will bestow upon you all the story that so fascinated and terrified me a few weeks ago. Yes, the one with sex and cats. I sure hope that it lives up to your expectations, because I know you have been fantasizing about what it could possibly be all weekend.
I have a geriatric boyfriend of sorts (this is not the sexual fetish part). A long time regular of the restaurant I worked at in college, and a shorter than average bearded man of about sixty-something, Mr. OB and I often find ourselves dining alone at the same restaurant. We have our declared spots at the bar. We have our usual orders. We both like our wine with a nice cold diet coke on the side. So, in retrospect, we don’t ever actually eat alone. We eat together.
There are a few things you should know about Mr. OB. He always orders the same thing. He “only dates women under forty”. He knows people. He can and will tell you anything and everything there is to know about New Orleans even if you didn’t ask. He can not hear but refuses to get a hearing aid. I assume he thinks this would confirm his age, thus he avoids it. He is also known for something called the champagne bath, which by its name alone should give you an idea where this story is going.
Mr. OB and I share a no-shame attitude in regards to the openness of our conversations. I’m almost certain that it has nothing to do with the bottles of wine. Being that I mainly talk about cats in regular discourse anyway, and he about hot women he has courted, it is to no surprise of mine that the following conversation happened: Read the rest of this entry
I am going to try not to have an aneurysm and/or vomit glitter right now. If you have been around since I began this blog (a little over six months ago *distant cheering*) you may remember a little something about me. I am heinously obsessed with theChive.com and their sister site theBerry.com. Over the past year I have watched like a caged kitten two feet away from his pals playing with a laser light and waiting ever so impatiently for theChive to have a meet-up that is close enough to Louisiana for me to attend. Well, they did even better than close to Louisiana. The meet-up is in Louisiana.
I can proudly say that today is the day. I shall finally get my wish. I am purchasing my ticket for theChive meet up in New Orleans this Friday!! You know I am truly excited when I use two exclamation points, or when I use an exclamation point period. That’s some serious punctuation that is not to be toyed with. I simply wanted to share my elation, and explain my absence this weekend. Here is what is coming up on 25ToFly:
- Remember how I promised to tell y’all a story involving a cat lady, alcohol, and a sexual fetish? Well, it’s still coming (seriously, no pun intended).
- If the article I attempted to pitch to Cracked.com bombs (at this point I am certain it already did) I am going to finish it and post it here. Yay for rejection and submitting you to my failed writing attempts.
- Something about the shit that goes down at my nail salon. Sounds intense, right?
Some other things are in the works, but I’ll leave you with those three for now. You may also remember a while back I mentioned I was starting a second blog. Well, I did. I launched it last week, but I decided that it shall remain anonymous due to the content containing mainly personally incriminating information.
Oh, and if I do not return on Monday, it is likely I have run off to stalk the editors at theChive. In this case, please alert the appropriate people, like no one.
Here is a grumpy cat too. Are you entertained yet?
- Facts you won’t believe that are absolutely true (28 Facts) (thechive.com)
- Animals that don’t suck (50 Photos) (thechive.com)
- GIFs with sound are still hilarious (Video) (thechive.com)