D as in Detroit of course.
I could write a long post detailing every little thing I did while in the Detroit area. I could brag about my sweet Red Wings shirt Adam got me hooked up with, or cringe at all of the cereal Adam eats, but you would probably only get half way through reading before your Monday distracted you. So, instead I am going to give you an action packed and easy reading list of all the enchanted and bewildering things I experienced on my trip. You know, the highlights.
I also developed a game for you AND included ANOTHER video. Hold on to your desk. Here we go!
1. I sat by a gentleman named Dallas on my flight to Dallas. Coincidence? I think not.
2. “Helen” cut me off after my third Jack Daniel’s on my second flight. Apparently I was “done.”
3. Adam told me I smelled like a hobo when I got off of the plane, but then I used my hair to mesmerize him. Funny how hobo changes very quickly into fairy princess with one good hair flip.
4. I learned, reluctantly, that turning left on red is a apparently a thing in Michigan. Supposedly. Maybe.
5. It’s a lot easier to take pictures of people sleeping on planes than one would think:
6. Planes can do the Harlem Shake too when given the right amount of youarenevergettinghome style weather.
7. Michigan Toys R Us’s are sexist.
8. Drinking at high altitudes is good for the creative brain. This is how I came up with a little game. It is the opposite of laying on the grass and making pictures of the clouds. It is sitting in a plane and making pictures of the ground.
Here is one for you to try!
9. I had to spend a night in Dallas on the way back from my trip as you know. During that night, some shit went down.
- Two women who looked to be members of some bizarre cleaning lady gang tried to swipe my iphone right out of my hands. All I wanted was a light. Sheesh.
- I would have spent the night in a hotel located conveniently in between two strip clubs and over thirty minutes from the airport had it not been for a savior in a Holiday Inn Express uniform who picked me up at just the right time.
- The video you are about to watch happened.
Disclaimer: this video contains a person in the state of extreme delirium.
10. I learned a lot more about the handsome Adam. I even chose to look past his sick cereal addiction. We all have our vices. Thank you Adam for being a lovely host, an excellent Clue player, and for showing me the best parts of the D.
D As in Detroit.
See Adam’s take on me and the D here.
Because that’s who I feel like right now. Tired and ragged, as I sit in terminal B after a long night of unlucky and then seriously lucky events, I could easily make my own version of The Terminal mashed with a little slice of Castaway (by the looks of my hair and the fact that I have taken up friendship with the only item of real value that I have in my carry on – my blow dryer).
Being that I was stranded in Dallas, TX last night, I didn’t want to take any chances of missing my flight this morning. So, naturally I stayed up until almost three AM, made weird videos of myself, and ate a questionable vending machine dinner that I washed down with room temperature beer to ensure that I would look and feel ravishing this morning. I also wanted to make it to the airport with plenty of time to spare. Which I did. And am now regretting in between consciousness. I’ll get back to you on the feeling ravishing part.
Here is the thing. I have to come clean. I didn’t write a post while I was cruising the clouds like Mario on some secret level, so I am making up for it now. Don’t fret though Flysters, I have about twenty posts worth of pictures, videos, and stories for you if you give me some time to recoup from my worst flight scenario ever. Plus, considering that I highly underestimated my Jack Daniels to plane-laziness ratio… it is for the best that no post was brewed.
In the meantime, I have two things for you to check out.
1. Stop by Brother Jon’s blog today. He has rallied some outstanding bloggers to send out some sweet messages to his brother and friends. Why is this important? Seek and you shall find. (Also, he extended such a generous helping hand to me late last night when I was in a panic at the airport that he deserves a huge nod of appreciation. Man, y’all are seriously good people).
2. Speaking of Mario, check out my intense reunion with him at Adam’s apartment in Detroit. More to come on part two of our IRL saga. Hold on to your butts!
- Tom Hanks Hoards Typewriters, and Other News (theparisreview.org)
- Tom Hanks took steroids to cure cold (contactmusic.com)