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Shower Beer

Dude, my blog was kind of an ass last week huh? I finally gained some sort of control. It was actually quite simple to distract my blog so that I could post as me again. I simply opened a movie containing a lot of nudity on Netflix in one tab while I wrote this post in another. Apparently my blog has a problem with the ways in which I unwind in the privacy of my own home, so in spite of my blog hijacking last week, I am going to continue my lush activities. One being the shower beer.

Shower beer

Beaver says… even Michelob Ultra makes a good shower beer.

My coozie says beaver on it. It’s okay to laugh. I know that beavers are totally funny animals in general and really have nothing to do with naked girls taking showers, so I understand how hilarious it is. Beaver.

Now, if you notice in the left photo, I have made sure to censor my entire shoulder and not show any of my armpit either. That would have just been a tease. Plus, I know better than to expose myself like that on the internet. The plus side is that you can still say you have technically seen Becca in the shower. No one will know it was only from my shower beer up.

What is a shower beer you ask? The answer to all of your problems. That’s what. Had a bad day at work? Wash it away while you wash down your favorite lager. Just broke up with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Good, more beer for you and your shower. Didn’t make it to the gym today? Sweat it out under the scalding water with a Bud Select 55 and call it a day.

It isn’t just comforting in times of distress either. You can also resort to a shower beer in times of celebration. Someone bought you a free six-pack? It’s probably because you are charming and worthy, so have that first ice-cold brew under the cascades of your home-made waterfall. Had a sexy day? Make it even sexier with a shower beer. Finally quit your awful day job? Stay in the bathroom until all of the hot water is gone and down as many bottles as you can. You don’t have to wake up tomorrow!

Are you getting the point here? There is never a bad time for this ritual. This is the ultimate indulgence, and the best part is that no one is judging. Your shower head and shampoo bottle will never give you a hard time about downing that pomegranate raspberry Michelob while you scrub your guns and pecs with a pink loofah. You can even enjoy a bath beer in substitution for the shower beer without guilt. It still counts.

If you don’t drink, start drinking. Or as another alternative, grab an O’douls or maybe even a root beer and get naked. Either way, you deserve it.

ADDENDUM: This Thursday is Valentine’s Day. I am sure you are overly aware. The good news is that instead of posting some bitch-fest post, or gushing about a boyfriend, I did something much cooler and way less annoying. I got together with Adam over at My Right to Bitch headquarters, and we came up with a new tradition for the holiday. Be sure to tune in Thursday for our insane collaboration! 

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Some Firsts to Forget

My Girl movie kiss picture

Along with being behind on writing this past week, I also haven’t been able to read my favorite blogs. I finally got to catch up on some this morning in between work. Finding myself a bit troubled by my seemingly idea-less mind lately, I decided to take some inspiration from a Five Forks blog post today. It has been a decent amount of time since I thought about some of my firsts. Lets see…

First Kiss
It was the Summer between 8th and 9th grade. His name was Sal. Nah, Sal was so not his real name, but I think Sal sounds cool, his real name did start with an S, and it reminds me of one of my favorite childhood books, Blueberry’s for Sal. We had been “going out” (aka chatting on AIM) for about two weeks. Jazzy and I had convinced our parents to allow us an unsupervised gallivant  to the movie theater. Of course, we were not old enough to drive yet, so Dad had to drop us off. Super cool.

The first hour of the flick consisted of playing musical armrests, and when it was my turn, making sure to position my hand palm side up and open in order to make it easier for him to hold my hand if he would so choose. I couldn’t even begin to tell you which movie it was that we went to see, but I do know it was an action movie … ba dun tsss. Read the rest of this entry

Drinking Your Dinner is Challenging

Image

Friday night is always pretty magical for us 8 to 5ers. It is finally time to unwind with no fear of the alarm come Saturday morning. Unfortunately, my body doesn’t comprehend this. I found myself greeting the day at a precise 8:05 am. Sigh. I tried to combat the wakefulness, smothering my head back in to my fortress of pillows. Nope, you are wide awake Becca. I eventually succumbed. The only possible option now was to go down to the coffee shop, fuel up with a latte (that I apparently didn’t even need) and start this Saturday off with what other than a blog post.

I have two distinct memories from my Friday. One includes my best friend mistaking a shot cup, that I had adopted as my ash tray, for her beloved Jager. This was almost immediately after the above picture. See that grin gleaming on the left? That would soon turn in to the most unsettling grimace as the floor became painted in the aftermath. She was a good sport about it. She is a trooper. It’s why I keep her around.

The rest of the night consisted of many more Michelob Ultras, a few more shots that didn’t taste like tar, and conversations about men, the mechanics of winking and Tampa.  (more…)

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