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A Girl and Her Rapper

In yesterday’s post, I revealed a secret about my disdain for sharing my music preferences with other drivers on the road, specifically at red lights. In the comments, there were a few others who expressed secrets involving music. Jillian was educating people at the same red lights, Amber was performing accidental serenades, and TBM revealed his faux music career. Sam also sings T-swift better than me, but that’s okay because much more people show interest in hearing me spit some Eminem.

Me and Slim go way back.

ginger kids love eminem

If I was a boy. Or a real ginger.

I vividly remember the period in my life when I was first introduced to the exquisitely crude lyrics of one of my favorite rappers. I can still smell my old 5th grade classroom and hear the sounds of me cracking pencils out of frustration over those logic puzzles. Isabella, Amy, Tony, and Michael can figure out their own damn class schedules or which gifts they gave to whom for Valentine’s Day. Shit.  But this isn’t about them. This is about my favorite rapper, Mr. Marshall Mathers himself. You will be okay with this once you understand our history.

When Eminem came out with My Name Is, I remember being scared and delighted all at the same time. Scared, because I knew if I got caught singing the lyrics, “I don’t give a fuck, god sent me to piss the world off” at the impressionable age of ten, I would surely be put in jail and condemned to hell. My delight came from Eminem being my first true taste of secret rebellion. It was a simple infatuation that I couldn’t fully understand. It wouldn’t be long, however, before I was able to start understanding and appreciating the verses I was performing for the hair ribbons and stuffed animals in my closet. Read the rest of this entry

Rule of Three

Shattered Iphone Screen

Rule of Three: The idea that things happen in threes… more specifically/especially negative things. Also known as the poison ivy of bad luck.

Someone needs to deliver me some calamine lotion stat, because I believe my Iphone and I just went through a bad case of this theory. This sort of thing is so familiar to me that I could feel it coming. When I initially was given the phone, it only took two blissful and carefree months before my hand-held jewel became shattered by the very clumsy hands that held it. Having received my Iphone as a birthday gift a couple of years ago, I guess it was only a matter of time before it met its fate again.

Misfortune #1 – Sitting on my balcony hammering away at my keyboard after work one day last week, I lost track of time. Exhausted and surely one mosquito bite away from West Nile disease, I decided to call it a night. My mind is stubborn and conceited in thinking I can carry more items than I have appendages. You should see me carry groceries in from the store. Making more than one trip is not an option. Read the rest of this entry

Cosmic Timing

Locust coming out of its shell

[I have to come clean, I stole this photo from the Facebook of one of my friends. He doesn’t know. I don’t think he would mind. It is too creepy cool.]

As I was desperately trying to slap myself awake this morning with coffee and checking e-mail on my balcony, I got side tracked to Facebook (as usual) and this little guy popped up at the top of my news feed. I know this is not some once in a lifetime phenomenon of great significance caught on film. I know it isn’t like I am flashing around a candid photo of Nessi making love to a platypus while sipping tea. It is, however, a cool photo of an event I can not say I have witnessed in action. Talk about my friend being in the right place at the right time. Talk about me and my news feed having the right timing for me to burglarize pictures.

Cue deep thinking mode. I am definitely a firm believer in the congruency between our life courses and universal timing (can you tell I am trying to avoid using the phrase everything happens for a reason?). Now, I do not know the specific reason for my friend’s convenient timing for witnessing this locust emerging from his shell. Maybe had he not been so enthralled by this irrelevant occasion, pausing his life course continuum for a few moments, his whole future may have changed. Maybe I am just way too in my head this morning. Read the rest of this entry

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