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I know everyone must think this, but bugs in general are out to get me specifically.  Bugs and frogs, but today we are just going to discuss the bugs. They know my name, what apartment I live in, and have a tracking system planted somewhere on my vehicle that I can’t locate. I guess that’s because a bug made locator device would be rather microscopic, but whatever. The point is that they are watching me. They are. The proof is in the battles.

Show Down #1:

I never roll my windows all the way down in my vehicle. I’m have long hair, and I bitch when the wind messes it up. There I said it. I am very much a girl. A small crack will always suffice when needing fresh air. Until they missile their way into my vehicle that is. They strategically wait to strike until they see that I have exceeded 50 mph. On the highway. In rush hour.

They know my attempts to halt swiftly and counter attack will be futile.  Their tactics are flawless. I have yet to determine how they train for such accuracy.

bad woman driver

What people assume I am doing when they see me swerving during an ambush.

Car trick

What I am actually trying to do.

Becca: 0 Bugs: 1

Show Down #2: Read the rest of this entry

Sleep, Time, and Flies

sleep chart funny

If I could have one super power bestowed upon me, I would probably chose the ability to remain awake indefinitely. I’ve always heard (something along the lines of)  that we  sleep a third of our lives away. One whole third. How about that oxymoron. That is a ridiculous amount of time, and I disagree with whatever force out there decided living beings required unconsciousness. Now, don’t get me wrong, sleeping is one of the most blissful activities. Some days I feel I could lead a happy life confined to my bed. Nonetheless, the time we lose drooling and twitching on our mattresses is absurd. It is especially absurd if you contemplate how much time we actually consciously experience the heavenly feelings of drifting off to sleep. It is not long. A few minutes maybe… down to a few seconds. The rest of the time glides by in darkness (give or take a dream here and there). I’ll admit, dreams are pretty badass and they fascinate me to no end, but reality…. is reality.  Read the rest of this entry

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