I’m Becoming a Stand Up Comedian

APRIL FOOLS! But here is a video about why I could never handle doing that.

 

Draw Your Life: Part Two

Here is part two of the Draw Your Life video I posted last week. Beware of cheese.

Now for some important news!

1. There will be a new article written by yours truly on The Indie Chicks tomorrow! I will be tweeting the link and sharing it on Facebook and all of that good stuff. You know what to do! Oh, and while you are there, if you have a moment to vote for me for the Funniest Blog and/or Funniest Vlog categories of their Badass Blogger Contest I will give you a kidney. It’s all good, I have two. I don’t care if you don’t need one, it’s yours.

2. I am off to travel again in about ten days, so you might not see much of me in the next couple of weeks. Now that I have quit my job to become a hippy, what better thing to do first than to travel the country side, right? But where am I going? Any guesses?

3. The Blogger Summit is well underway. There are some exciting things going on behind the scenes. Upon my return, expect to be delivered some updates!

Thanks again for watching/reading/commenting/hopefully not crying.

Related articles

• Go Home Fear, You’re Drunk (25tofly.com)
• Draw Your Life (25tofly.com)
• Life Drawing (georgiamacguire.wordpress.com)

Please Welcome Back Z: The Fugitive

By popular demand, I am back! Well, that was actually my demand to Becca; to write another blog for me to have something entertaining to read today. When she failed to meet that demand, I decided it better to write my own and use her webspace to host the story I am about to tell. I posted the shortened version on my Facebook yesterday and received a bountiful seven “likes” that left me quite disappointed. So, instead I am going to use Becca’s immense following to help me bask in the glory of what I accomplished. After this is finished, I am going to Nevada to find a cavern where I can further retell my story by the use of finger paintings on cave walls.

He looks innocent enough, right? Wrong, Read on.

Heavy Lifting

How many rips of duct tape does it take Becca to start breaking shit? Not many. Two to be exact. I am finally back in action (or getting there) after my unenthused absence from all things virtual (okay, maybe not Twitter) which was forced by the joys of moving. But, be assured that I was thinking of my followers the whole time. See proof below.

Ten Important Things I Learned Other Than How NOT to Rip Duct Tape:

More From Mr. OB

Do you remember Mr. OB? You should. Catch up here and here. I often wonder about the interpretation of our friendship from afar. A twenty-four year old girl enjoying drinks and conversation at a restaurant bar with a sixty something year old man. Maybe it is an odd friendship pairing to outside eyes, but I do firmly believe in the notion of age only being a number. I know some of my friends who are still in their twenties that are older than Mr. OB. Not only does Mr. OB provide me with continuous entertainment with his quirks and no-fucks-given attitude, but he also has some pretty incredible stories to share.

Why, just last week I had dinner with Mr. OB after an extended period of not having dinner with Mr. OB for no particular reason. He told me the hilarious story about the time that he hitch hiked from Mississippi to Illinois to stay with a friend when he was just 19 years old. He was kicked out of his college for being in a girl’s dorm after hours and decided to get out-of-town to avoid the heat from his parents. Shocker.

We began to discuss the differences between the times. Hitch hiking was common place and not surrounded by the qualms of abduction back then. At least not as much as now. He told me about the people who picked him up along the way.

Me: “So what were the people like? How many different people picked you up?”

Mr OB: “I don’t remember a lot, but I do remember this one hippy chick who picked me up”

Pixelitus

My right eye-lid has been twitching for two days straight. People are starting to think I am a floozy walking around involuntarily winking at anything walking on two legs and occasionally some on all  fours. Slow your roll, I love animals, but I do draw the line somewhere.

But seriously, what I think this signifies is stress. I have been under a fair amount of it with moving plans and other TOP SECRET projects. So, I have decided to share an older video with you today.This was the first real video I created with my prized possession web cam. It’s basically an online dating profile video parody. Enjoy, and have an outstanding weekend y’all.

Related articles

• Web Cam Cheating; My Dirty Little Secret (therealsupermumblog.com)
• Video: ‘I drink because I’m sad now’ – Taylor Swift parody mocks changes between 22 and 32 (independent.ie)

Definitely Cry Over Expired Milk

My impulse purchasing has become a real problem as of late. I am not even paying attention anymore. Last night I was picking up a few beers and for some reason felt compelled to buy some milk too. I don’t even know why. I never buy milk. So, this morning I wake up and realize that I have milk, which is a rare commodity in my fridge. I open the little bottle and take a big swig.

It took me about half a second after I already swallowed my sip to realize that something was not right. I looked at the expiration date immediately.

Thanks for leaving me with no option but to chug a beer at 11 am, because I had no other beverages with which to chase my rancid milk.

 

So that means that this milk has been sitting in some gas station cooler for over two weeks, and I picked it up, bought  it, and drank it. How does this happen? Maybe I should just stop buying things all together. I am not very good at purchasing.

Before you watch my new vlog below, I have a secret to tell you!

Blogger Summit Update #2

Nine days. It had been nine whole days since I had so much as looked at the “add new” post button before I wrote my blogiversary post yesterday. Nine days in internet time is equal to about nine months in real-time. I could have had a blog baby for all you know. Don’t get any ideas, I wasn’t off making blabies. What I was doing was visiting with an incredible blogger from the Motor City. You probably know him as Adam from My Right to Bitch, The Artist Formerly Known as My Right to Bitch, or more recently Live From Motor City or maybe just that hilarious drummer dude that I was lucky enough to virtually drink fake sake with that one time.

All shoe laces are belong to Jack.

That’s right, he drove himself insane all the way down here to Louisiana to hang out, help me fix my poorly assembled bar stools (ten cool points for anyone who remembers this old ass post), drink beers with me and introduce Jack to the joys of chewing gum. The experience was well deserving of an Adamesque rock hand  \m/  to say the least! And, in case you were wondering, he is just as attractive in person.