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Christmas in September

thechive meet up new orleans

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG .. etc. etc.

I am going to try not to have an aneurysm and/or vomit glitter right now. If you have been around since I began this blog (a little over six months ago *distant cheering*) you may remember a little something about me. I am heinously obsessed with theChive.com and their sister site theBerry.com. Over the past year I have watched like a caged kitten two feet away from his pals playing with a laser light and waiting ever so impatiently for theChive to have a meet-up that is close enough to Louisiana for me to attend. Well, they did even better than close to Louisiana. The meet-up is in Louisiana.

I can proudly say that today is the day. I shall finally get my wish. I am purchasing my ticket for theChive meet up in New Orleans this Friday!! You know I am truly excited when I use two exclamation points, or when I use an exclamation point period. That’s some serious punctuation that is not to be toyed with. I simply wanted to share my elation, and explain my absence this weekend. Here is what is coming up on 25ToFly:

  • Remember how I promised to tell y’all a story involving a cat lady, alcohol, and a sexual fetish? Well, it’s still coming (seriously, no pun intended).
  • If the article I attempted to pitch to Cracked.com bombs (at this point I am certain it already did) I am going to finish it and post it here. Yay for rejection and submitting you to my failed writing attempts.
  • Something about the shit that goes down at my nail salon. Sounds intense, right?

Some other things are in the works, but I’ll leave you with those three for now. You may also remember a while back I mentioned I was starting a second blog. Well, I did. I launched it last week, but I decided that it shall remain anonymous due to the content containing mainly personally incriminating information.

Oh, and if I do not return on Monday, it is likely I have run off to stalk the editors at theChive. In this case, please alert the appropriate people, like no one.

Here is a grumpy cat too. Are you entertained yet?

grumpy cat

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5 Ways to Tell If You Are Lazy

 

lazy CAT CAUGHT IN THE ACT

Am I nipping?

OR, 5 Ways to Tell If You Are Adaptive and Awesome

You belong in one of these two categories, depending on your inherent optimism/pessimism, if you do any of the following:

1. Use your hair straightener to iron only the front of your shirt while it remains on your body. After all, it’s the only side people see anyway.

2. Sprinkle your house with multiple bowls of cat food and water in a decorative fashion to avoid having to worry about completing the task throughout the week. Soon, your cat can’t run away from you when you try to motorboat his belly. He will waddle slow enough for you to catch him. Two birds, one stone.

3.  Your driver’s side window in your vehicle has not had roll down capabilities since some time in 2011. You enter the drive-thru backwards.

4. Instead of holding that heavy blow dryer over your head for twenty minutes, you turn on Willow Smith and whip your hair back and forth until it’s dry. Go green.

5. You write a “list” post and lure people in with a picture of a bulging cat belly. This is most certainly in the adaptive and awesome category.  No debate here.

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