It has been quite a while since I have shared any conversations with my geriatric boyfriend Mr. OB. Since I can now type again, I can’t think of a better way to get back into the swing of posting than to give you some more disturbing pictures of his character. If you don’t know who Mr. OB is (short for Mr. Outback), I’ll tell you now, you won’t ever get an accurate bio of him. Here or anywhere for that matter. But you can infer what you will about him from my series of stories here and by reading the rest of this post.
Look closely, this is the most you will ever see of Mr. OB
I had the pleasure of another long overdue dinner and visitation with Mr. OB a few nights ago. It is yet to be determined if he was or was not stoned. Not that that serves as a logical reason that the following conversation occurred, but he seemed bit… paranoid.
We said our hellos first:
Mr. OB: “What’s wrong with you?”
Mr. OB: “Oh, you look funny”
Me: Well my arm was swallowed by a first aid kit, but other than that…
On topics of medical experiences, needles, and the like.
Me: “Wait, so you think if you put a needle in your leg that you will accidentally pull back on the syringe and suck out your insides?”
Mr. OB: “Well yeah, I don’t know what is in there!”
Me: “You mean, in your body?”
Mr. OB: “Yeah! And I don’t want to know.”
Me: “You know, I don’t think needles work like plungers and turkey basters. Wait, why are you stabbing yourself with needles in the first place?”
Mr. OB: Mumbles something about bees and tractors running into trees
Mr. OB: “When that thing comes on at Outback, I am ducking behind the register. The blade is coming out of that thing and it’s flying across the bar and straight into my neck.” making dramatic throat slicing motion
Me: “Because that blender blade has had it out for you since it found out you only drink wine, right?”
Mr. OB: “I’ve seen it happen.”
Me: Well I am sure a lot of people “see” things that would never happen. Ever heard of intrusive thoughts? Hallucinations? Paranoia?
Mr. OB: “You just wait. I’m telling you. It’s gonna happen. I just hope it won’t be me. But it will probably be me.”
Me: to the bartender “Can I get a frozen margarita? Well blended please?”
Check out my latest vlog in the sidebar on the most obvious topic of all. The internet. ———————————————————————————->
Hello Flysters, lovely to be writing a post here today. Guess what? I have a new article for The Indie Chicks that will be published on Tuesday, May 14th. It is about mistaking fate, and it is for all of us out there who are struggling to land our creative dream jobs. Please give my article some love if you get a chance to pop on over there Tuesday for a good read. I will post the link once it is live. ALSO, The Indie Chicks are having a Badass Blogger contest in which they have a Funniest Blog and Funnies Vlogger category for which you can nominate people
named Becca. Hint, hint. Click here to help me dominate the contest. It’s VERY simple to nominate, but it ends May 15th. That’s next Wednesday.
I posted a tweet last week that looked like this:
This was the result of a deeply reflective moment that I had in my new residence when intrusive thoughts hijacked my brain. Intrusive thoughts are unwelcome involuntary thoughts and images that are upsetting or distressing and can be difficult to manage or eliminate. In my case, they often come in the form of irrational fears. And everyone knows that the most rational reaction to these types of thoughts is to turn to Twitter for comfort. Read the rest of this entry