Blog Archives

Sleep, Time, and Flies

sleep chart funny

If I could have one super power bestowed upon me, I would probably chose the ability to remain awake indefinitely. I’ve always heard (something along the lines of)  that we  sleep a third of our lives away. One whole third. How about that oxymoron. That is a ridiculous amount of time, and I disagree with whatever force out there decided living beings required unconsciousness. Now, don’t get me wrong, sleeping is one of the most blissful activities. Some days I feel I could lead a happy life confined to my bed. Nonetheless, the time we lose drooling and twitching on our mattresses is absurd. It is especially absurd if you contemplate how much time we actually consciously experience the heavenly feelings of drifting off to sleep. It is not long. A few minutes maybe… down to a few seconds. The rest of the time glides by in darkness (give or take a dream here and there). I’ll admit, dreams are pretty badass and they fascinate me to no end, but reality…. is reality.  Read the rest of this entry

The Little Things

Flowers in a Purple vase

I make an effort to buy two different flower arrangements (the cheap ones that are usually ignored but are still just as pretty) once every week or two for each of my vases. I starting doing this when I heard or read somewhere that it can help brighten your mood. I’ve kept doing it ever since, so I guess it works. These flowers were my favorite of the two I picked up yesterday. I didn’t even catch what the name of these were, and I don’t even care. Lie! If you have an eye for this sort of thing , speak up… learn me something. The point is, when I wake up with this little bit of life staring me in the face and give them a whiff, I am suddenly able to hone in on my optimistic side. It’s the little positive things… Do them because you can.

coffee break

Before my horticultural hunt Sunday morning, I slept in until my eyes would stay sealed no more. That’s when I made a grocery list (laughing at myself later for forgetting trash bags). So, while my trash would be chilling in the nude shortly due to my lackluster list making skills, I did manage to grab something not on my grocery list (naturally). Coffee. I have been the obviously not so proud owner of a single cup coffee brewer since I moved away from home six years ago. It has never been used. Quite sadly, not once. Read the rest of this entry

Behold the Feline Frock

Cat in a sweater sitting

It has been such a busy day that my abilities of being funny, witty or even mildly entertaining are as gone as the five cookies I ate for lunch. I have no regrets. So, yet again, I am going to let the internet do my work for me. Well, internet cats specifically (see next paragraph). I’ve got to stop doing this. I wanted to write about my adventures in drumming today and research some good electric sets, being that it has been almost a month since I have been able to attacked my acoustic. Since I sold it, I am missing it probably as much as everyone misses the old Facebook layout. I am in the market for a decent yet affordable electric set and figured I may luck out and receive some feedback from someone with input on the subject. I feel a little bit like my stress has been lingering in my shoulders lately. Oh yea, that’s because I haven’t been able to come home and beat the shit out of something for an hour every day until I am marginally a little more deaf. Duh. Maybe I will get to that post tomorrow. Read the rest of this entry

An Unconventional Love Affair

My bed

(I’ll just apologize now, all my photos are taken from your basic Iphone 4. I am not a photographer, nor do I claim to be, but I will be taking a class soon. I Might purchase a decent camera while I am at it. Can’t hurt right?)

You are looking at my me spot. My sanctuary. Where the magic happens. The coma inducer. My office. My bed.

I have a pretty epic love affair with my bed. Just look at all those pillows. How could I not? My comforter has multiple personalities, and I am okay with it. One side is composed of a silk soft suede, while the other is a thick and coarse, yet gentle wool like material. When I get under those covers, it is like being stuffed in to one giant UGG boot. Back to the pillows. Those are the real seducers. There is almost a science I have developed to positioning my pillows for optimum slumber. As you can see in the picture, they are also very versatile. One moment they are my little spoon, and the next a desk. Impressive right?  Read the rest of this entry

Cutting the Cord with Cable

When I am not intimidating big burly off-shore men as safety personnel by day, or out getting my billiards on at night, you can usually find me at home. More specifically in these two places:

Kitchen

Blacony sunset

I have composed a short list of things I do when I am at my pad: (Note: all of these activities are performed while listening to the radio, my Ipod, or Pandora and usually a combination of all three. There are many pirouettes, hair whips, and running sock slides accompanying these activities as well. I have all wooden floors, so it’s only fair to use them.)

1. Read, write, Reddit, Chive, Facebook, Twitter, etc. Basically I do the Internet.

2. Cook… or pull out every snack item I own in attempts to put together a quasi-meal instead of cooking. The majority of the time I actually do cook, but come on, even award winning chefs get lazy right?

3. Sit on my balcony drinking wine while on the phone for extended periods of time, usually with Booger. You see, all of my friends decided to abandon me simultaneously, like I am the riot gun and they are the rubber bullets, so the phone time is essential .

4. Clean.

5. Chase around this ferocious and boisterous beast that refuses to accept that my kitchen counters are not his personal play towers.

Cat

There is more, but those are the main events at club Becca. What’s the point in me telling you this? Read the rest of this entry

Bacon: The Candy of Meats

bacon roses(click for DIY for bacon roses)

This morning I woke up and realized I forgot to eat dinner yet again last night. I tend to do this when I am distracted by weekend activities. Famished, I slid to the kitchen and flung open my refrigerator. The contents of my fridge included bacon, milk, cheese, turkey, and pickles. I suppose I could have opted for a sandwich, but instead I cooked an absurd amount of bacon. Because it is Sunday and I am a sloth in training, I cheated a bit and cooked it in the microwave. Six strips nuked for about 4 1/2 minutes is the winning combination for the perfectly crunchy consistency that I enjoy.

Then, Standing over the stove, I dressed each auburn strip with a perfect ration of maple syrup. It is key to strategically allow the syrup to gather in the gorged parts of the bacon. Then, I washed them all down with ice cold milk. The amount of milk I chugged down was quite absurd as well. Being that the milk’s expiration date is today, I believe it was justified. Does anyone else cringe at the dried milk flakes that occasionally accumulate on the top of the jug? This shit just makes my skin crawl. I can not explain this phenomenon.

This is how I eat my bacon. Every. Single. Time. How do you like your bacon? I bet this guy could give you some tips.

As I write this I am having a conversation via text with a musician friend of mine. He is informing me about his upcoming tour in six weeks and inviting me to go meet some people down near New Orleans backstage at the Cowboy Mouth show this evening. Sadly, I had to decline because of that little thing that is ruiner of all things fun called work tomorrow. Then, to make things worse, I realize I have just written an entire post about bacon. Oh yea, and wasn’t I supposed to be at the beach right now? Sigh. If there is one thing that can get me through this, its going to be the bacon. Definitely the bacon. Back to the microwave.

Cats: Mascots of the World Wide Web

cat dress

This is a dress. This is not just any dress. This is a dress covered in a print of cats. I came across this gem yesterday while shopping with a great friend of mine. She actually spotted it, and naturally we had to model it and take pictures for giggles. Not to offend, but who would actually buy this let alone wear it? Aside from the lovely aesthetics of this piece, the dress style alone could make even Gisele Bundchen look frumpy. Although I am often teased by my friends and family (pretty relentlessly) for mothering two cats of my own, this garment takes the title “crazy cat lady” to another level. Gee, how hypocritical. Anyway, I knew if there is one environment where cats are revered, it is the internet. I knew I had to share. Then things got out of hand when I composed this:

cat meme
Here is the lesson ladies and gentlemen. When all else fails, you have nothing interesting or relevant to write about, and you want to post something anyway, there is a simple solution. Post about cats. The things I do for internet. You’re welcome internet.
If you dare

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