Posted by becca3416
I have determined that I am missing the get-married-and-have-babies gene. While other girls were fantasizing about veils and vows, I was seeing how many objects I could sling from my ceiling fan. Or, I was possibly making my stuffed animals bungee jump from the stairwell balcony. I was creative like that. Here are some other conclusions that lead me to this revelation about myself:
– When someone tries to pass me a baby, I lose all knowledge of how to use my arms.
– I usually don’t know what to say around babies so I just keep repeating, “Aw” and “He’s adorable”. That’s usually when they tell me it is a girl.
– Veil? More like fail.
– I think wedding dresses are ugly. I’m a monster, I know.
– When they showed us a video of a human giving birth in Biology 101, I burned down the entire building. So much for becoming a doctor.
– I’d rather buy myself a diamond ring and call it a day.
– I get self-conscious simply walking down the grocery store aisle with no one even around. Me? In a wedding? Talk about Run Away Bride part two.
– I got talked into baby sitting one time. Somehow the kid ended up playing with a knife. I think that speaks for itself.
– I threw a baby bird egg on the cement once just to see what would happen. Not a good sign.
– If I marry some dude I think I run the risk of him stealing my long johns. That’s not happening.
– Don’t cats try to kill babies? I have two cats. Do the math.
– If I marry I will surely divorce. That means someone gets half of my stuff. This blog is part of that stuff. My blog would then turn into 25T or oFly. That’s just ridiculous.
- 7 Reasons Why I’m Ill Equipped to Have a Baby (brunchforeverymeal.com)
- Then Came The Baby In The Baby Carriage (andyblumenthal.wordpress.com)
- When We Has Our Babies (marriageconfessions.com)
Tags: 25tofly, babies make me awkward, Babysitting, bad parenting, Becca Cord, Biology 101, blog, Blogging, can't hold a baby, Children, forever alone, Funny, humor, i am not the marrying kind, i will never get married, Marriage, missing genes, why i don't want kids, why I don't want to get married