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Best Monday Ever

Why? This is why:

  • The Movember Winners Banner is finished and revealed. See above. It is better than I ever imagined.
  • The accompanying Movember 2012 page is complete. Winners can go bask in their glory.
  • It rained this morning, and I actually had an umbrella on me … for once.
  • I get to be La Becca for one whole week of A Becca on Fire on Le Clown’s blog.
  • Did you read the last bullet point?!

I will still be working on the Fly Blog Award, I didn’t forget. But when you are on fire, it’s hard to concentrate.

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Movember Contest Winners Reveal – Vlog Style

Who vlogs on a blog? Boundary pushers. Free thinkers. Entrepreneurs. Imbeciles. Me.

Before you click play I have a few last words. I intended for the vlog to be more professional. I wanted it to have more jokes and music. I also wanted it to be highly pixelated and choppy at some points, because that is considered arty. I wanted it to be arty.

Just kidding. I lost “my” internet connection after the first recording session and had to resort to recording the last few bits on my Iphone. That may be pathetic, and I probably just gave you all a reason to label me as cheap, but I see this as a courageous move. I could have quit and left you all hanging. I could have thrown my computer off of the third story balcony. But I didn’t, so here is what resulted. It went okay.

That move was for you Billy Zane Aneroidocean. Did you really think I was going to put on my tutu?

So again, the winners were:

Madame Weebles

Chris De Voss 

Katie – SLP_Echo

Jon – Brother Jon

I will e-mail you all later today letting you know how you can get  in touch with Timmer to let him know how you would like to be illustrated. I wish you could all be in the banner. I assume that would take Tim quite some time, and then he wouldn’t be able to go drunk fountain splashing with me. So we can’t do that. Congrats to the winners and thank you to everyone who participated. As if I haven’t said it enough.

Also, I added the page I spoke about at the top of my blog titled “Movember 2012”. I will be working on the blurbs about the winners to complete that page. In the meantime, everyone can go read an end of Movember post by Emily of The Waiting over at ACOF.

 

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Unconventional Love Affair # 47

Are you ready for a guessing game? I thought so. I could feel it. And plus, I heard Le Clown was planning some sort of  game tomorrow (for his own sick entertainment no doubt), so I figured I’d help you get warmed up.

This magnifying glass is doing nothing for my lack of eyeballs. Hmph.

I want you to guess what inanimate object I am balls deep in love with right now. Le Clown, you can’t play. You know why. Whoever guesses right FIRST will win a creative shout out in my Movember contest winners announcement video. God I am generous. Here are the clues:

1. There is a hint in this blog post’s title.

2. My thumbs are sore.

3. I am not a man.
     But with this I can pretend.
     Haiku styled hint.

4. When I am around it I don’t blink.

5. Like my Facebook page. There is possibly a huge hint there. If you can find it.

Good luck my smart little puppets! Leave your guesses in the comments!

* Tomorrow is the last day of Movember! Just one last reminder. Don’t forget to check the list if you entered my contest!*

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25toFly Movember Drawing Contestant List

I know I said I would post this Friday, but I am impatient and a pathalogical bliar (blog liar). So, here I have compiled the list of bloggers who qualify for my banner drawing (so far but with only two days left). The number beside each name represents how many times your name is entered in the drawing depending on whether or not you donated AND liked the Bloggers for Movember page.

the winners are

Not being announced in this post. HA PSYCH!

Please double-check me, I may appear to posses advanced intelligence but lists and counting dumb me down. Remember, a donation is required to qualify for the drawing. If I overlooked you, please tell me in the comments or I am going to feel worse than the Shamwow guy does about wet-vacs.

That’s 25 bloggers. Did I just count good?! Good luck to everyone. If you donate between today and Friday, or if I goofed and left you off, I will gladly add your name to the list.

And finally, to Tim, I didn’t include you in the list since you are illustrating the prize, but I did want to recognize the fact that you contributed to the moon on this thing. I also wanted to remind you to make sure you put your signature somewhere on the final banner (I am sure that was unnecessary for me to tell you) and to write a special thank you directed towards you. You did a LOT for the Movember movement. No, that’s an understatement. If it weren’t for you, my contest would have sucked a prune. Your Facebook timeline covers, my banner, your Movember posts, and your donations, likes and comments really made a wonderful difference in this whole experience.  THANK YOU from the bottom of my long johns (I promise that isn’t how it sounds). Now, will you go out with me? Be sure to wear that tie and we can dance to some RAC remix. We will end the night splashing around drunk in a fountain somewhere screaming “‘Merica!!!!!!!!!!!!!” at everyone. How’s that sound?

Look out for the final VIDEO announcement revealing the winners next week!

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“Update” is Such a Boring Title

Four tanks of gas in four days: $240.00

Beer, beer, and more beer: $50.00

Welcome home dinner from yourself to yourself: $20.00

Returning to your blog: Priceless

brass monkey

Nothing will make you focus more than a brass monkey’s exposed asshole.

That’s right. Everyone chill the fuck out. I am back. I even brought you some monkey bum. He is responsible for my absence. Come on, you would be distracted too if this was the only space in which you could work. I mean, why is he so adamant on picking up that over sized marble? Can he even lift it? Why am I turned on?

Actually, the more important question here is where the hell my mom bought this “decor”. Obviously, I have been home visiting family for the Thanksgiving holiday for the past four days. Now it is back to what makes the world go round blogging. Here is what’s up for this week: Read the rest of this entry

The Music of Mustache Make-Outs

Ever since Daan van den Bergh pooped out a glittery faberge egg for me on Twitter, then promoted me to the position of his official sound editor for his blog, I have been skipping like a leprechaun everywhere I go. I am mostly just impressed with him and his wife’s clay molding skills. Oh, and somehow he also talked me into being a make-out whore. I’ll let him explain…

It’s me, Daan.

Obviously it is the month for Movember. To those of you, who don’t know what that is, I am assuming that you are a newcomer and/or are living under a rock.  Read this post. Enlighten yourself.

Now, I want to tell you a story. I’m going to ask you to close your eyes while I tell the story. No, wait. I’m not actually talking. Just read it.

This is a story about an upper-lip enjoying a regular shave, a daily smooth-cut with sometimes a day or two in between. Eleven months pass by as suddenly November races up. The world gets darker each day as a carpet of thick, pointy hair consumes the upper-lip. Can you see it? It’s entangled in wire, caught unwillingly, all alone in the darkness. Can you? I want you to picture that upper-lip.

Now imagine that upper-lip is you.

So, I asked myself: what can I do to make these upper lips feel less lonely? What do you do when a guy feels bad? According to pop psychology, you either take him to a strip club or get him a hooker. I can’t help all of them and although prostitution is legal in my awesome country, it isn’t in the rest of the world. So I needed to come up with an alternative.

That’s why I got the Sound Editor of I Fkkn Rokk Studios (which happens to be the owner of this blog – happy coincidence!) to make-out with the 10 most ridiculous mustaches and share with us what it sounded like!

You’re welcome. Back to you, Becca. Read the rest of this entry

Titles Are For Days That Aren’t Monday

It’s Monday again. It is Thanksgiving week. I am going for two cups of coffee today. Maybe snort some pixie stix too. It could only help at this point.

I haven’t had this tired of a Monday in a while. I suppose that’s what all the traveling this weekend did to me. And all the baby holding. You will be relieved to know that the baby is still alive and well after the holding.

becca and baby

Just waiting to misplace my hands and cause her head to pop off.

After I successfully didn’t kill my godchild, I finally completed the run for which I have been training. Remember, that was why I was going to the gym so much. No attractive males involved there.

You will be happy to know that I thought of some of you while I was there. Read the rest of this entry

Oh Dad

As promised, and to avoid angering the blogging gods ultimately ruining my internet karma, today’s post is inspired by “Faddah Friday” or “Funny Dad Friday”. Started by Brother Jon, or more officially,  Jonathan (control your excitement Rutabaga), I am excited to share with you a post in this style. You might even gain some insight as to how I became the way I am, but I doubt it.

On Cars

My dad is a car maintenance enthusiast. Sometimes I think he is a car mechanic instead of a salesman. He once had the same truck for like fifteen years. That thing had about 500,000 miles on it. He also taught me to drive in that same truck when I was eight, then again when I was fourteen, and once more when I was actually of legal age. He also forgave me that time I backed into the house… eventually. Here a few things I learned from him on the subject: Read the rest of this entry

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