1. Go ahead and come to terms with the fact that after the initial month or so of getting used to your new schedule, you may never sleep past 8:00 again. Also, your hang-overs just automatically went from a 3 to a 10 on the I’m-never-drinking-again scale, so be prepared.
2. You can be twenty minutes early every day to work, and no one will notice, but the one day you are late will live in infamy.
3. The picture up there? That is a letter opener. The only one I saw before looked like a dagger out of a scene from The Princess Bride.
4. Do not, under any circumstances, disclose information regarding your personal life unless you are one hundred percent ok with the entire office knowing about it. Your “work wife/husband” will betray you and you won’t get half of his/her paycheck in the divorce. My advice is: be so vague that you are borderline vogue.
5. You are young, so if you have a significant other, you are facing two options. At some point, someone will inquire about your relationship status. If you claim single, people will either perpetually ask you how your weekend was with that insinuating eyebrow lift, or they will try to set you up with anyone with a pulse. This is usually accompanied by the same look one gives an orphan puppy. In the case that you do admit to a taken status, everyone will want to know your significant other’s entire pedigree. Cue advice you didn’t ask for.
6. No one is going to remind to take your vacation days. No one will nag you to join in on the company insurance plan. No one will automatically sign you up for that 401K plan promised to you. You have to keep up with making sure these things get put in to action.
7. The phrase “just kidding,” or “you know not to take it seriously,” or any such equivalent is simply a cop-out for people to feel like they aren’t really actually sexually harassing you.
8. You can’t just sit anywhere at the Christmas party brunch. If you are the newest member to ABC Inc., you sit last. Same goes with parking. On any day.
9. Never pay for coffee. My love affair with Starbucks is strong too, but for $4 a day, you mind as well be a pack a day smoker. Minus the whole cancer thing.
10. Be aware of the sneaky Bcc (blind carbon copy) in e-mails. If you are anything like me, you didn’t even know what the plain cc meant let alone one with sight issues. Bcc is a way of attaching multiple recipients to an e-mail without those recipients being able to see everyone attached. So, if Suzie isn’t getting her part of a project done, and I send her an e-mail addressing the problem with a Bcc to our supervisor, Suzie’s response could either doom or save her all while she has no idea boss woman is watching. Shady? Yes. Does anyone care? No.
- [Email Tip] Save Time by Sending Email Blind | Blog (rackspace.com)
- POP vs IMAP mail (stacyrlewis.wordpress.com)
- E-mail ettiquette–Jasmine’s Tech Dos & Don’ts (reviews.cnet.com)
Today I have two orders of business. I so wish I had a gavel and had just said that out loud. The first includes me thanking a really kick-ass person by the name of Jillian. She has awarded me with my second blog award, the One Lovely Blog Award, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. I am
secretly openly envious of her bravery as she takes on Southeastern Europe. She is all about couch surfing, bungee jumping, and smooth talking security. Seriously, some of the stuff she does makes my zip lining excursion look like mini-golf in comparison. You can tag along on Jillian’s journeys here. Thanks for the compliment and added encouragement Jillian.
(Probably) Super official rules of accepting this award:
1. Thank the person/people who nominated you and link back to them in your post.
2. Share seven possibly unknown things about yourself.
3. Nominate fifteen or so bloggers you admire.
4. Contact the chosen bloggers to let them know and link back to them.
I’ll go ahead and get this out of the way:
1. I have an artificial right upper lateral. Also known as… I gots a fake tooth, ya heard. I was born without the permanent one that’s supposed to be there.
2. In my super viable medical opinion, I believe that very tooth got lost somewhere in the incubation period of my existence. Turns out it was just chilling with my wisdom teeth. That’s right, I had five wisdom teeth.
3. That’s enough about my dental history, but along the same lines I have never broken a bone.
4. My feline children are named after playing cards.
5. Whiskey is my biggest vice.
6. I absolutely can not wear socks under covers and definitely will not sleep in them.
7. I am in serious relationships with a lot of inanimate objects… but if you have been reading along with my blog for a while, you probably already knew that.
And now, I am going in to slacker mode and cheating a little bit. It is Friday and fifteen blogs is a lot, so I am going to slice that in half. Everyone who is anyone cheats on these things anyway right? We will just call it tweaking the rules. Here are some of my latest blog crushes. Does a blog count as an inanimate object? I mean the physical blog is inanimate, but the people writing them are not. Wow, this will be a long day. Back to the podium, and mind you these are in no specific order.
Kenny is an aspiring comedian. He is funny and insightful. You will like him. Oh, did I mention he sings?
I wish I could have been around when this guy was teaching, or rather, I wish this guy could have been around when I was learning. Either way I am sure he will correct me and then flatter me. Oh Rich, how I enjoy our interactions.
Using his units of measure, this guy is pretty sweet. Awesome dad. He will make you cry, then make you laugh.
I hate that I have never done half the outdoorsy stuff Sarah does, but I love living vicariously through her blog. Man, do all the cool people live in New England?
This one is definitely in my top five favorite blogs. If you like book writing bellmen, here’s your guy.
This blogger has a spiffy design to her blog, and I think her blog name is catchy to boot. Plus, she writes interesting stuff.
He is not a business man, he is a business, man. That comes straight from this guy’s about page. We’ve got a clever one here. Read his blog.
All I can say is inspiring. I would say much more, but now my fingers are sleepy. I have much love for this blog as well.
I am sure most of these people don’t need me to nominate them for some award. I am equally certain they must all know they are wonderful already. Regardless, there it is. If I have missed some sort of anti-award clause somewhere in your information, I apologize. I probably shouldn’t get ahold of a gavel after all.
Oh yeah, and for the second order of business, remember how I actually won something that one time? Probably not, but my prize finally arrived. Findingravity is the shiz.
- One Lovely Blog and Kreativ Blogger Award (jabelah.wordpress.com)
- One Lovely Award and Blessing (inlovewiththelord.wordpress.com)
- Awards! Many lovely awards … (evatenter.wordpress.com)
[When you meet the right store, you just know. It means never having to ask, “Where is the Bounty?”.]
One of the main reasons I moved in to the apartment I currently live in, was because of the central location to my favorite grocery store, gas stations, and the blessing that is CVS. CVS always has treated me kindly. It has my favorite wines at a decent price. They have not only one but two actually functioning Redbox machines. You’ve got to love movie vending machines. Add a slot for dispensing popcorn and M&M’s and it’s on (but only if mixed together). Also, it is much more convenient than weaving through the grocery store when all I need is a little lion food and tiger litter. I will dodge the grocery store every time if possible, unless I have a guided list and more than ten items for which to hunt.
The first few trips to my new haven were just as delightful as I imagined. As things were going so well already, I quickly found myself envisioning a lifelong future developing for CVS and I. The perfect consumer-retailer union. That’s when, as it usually plays out in relationships (mine at least), the true identity of my beloved store began to slip through the cracks of its sleek ruby exterior. We had a problem. My CVS had been concealing a Mr. Hyde. The cashier. Read the rest of this entry
[Awww yeahhh 1993. What a bright pink bathing suit I’ve got there. Wait a damn minute, was that really almost twenty years ago?!]
Sometimes I forget about things. Sometimes I get lazy. Sometimes I do both simultaneously.
As I was driving down the highway, I could hear the ice chest in the trunk sloshing around. It sounded like I had a dead body back there. We were close enough to the next stop we were making on our way to Denham Springs for me to ignore it for a few more miles. We finally pulled up on the curb of a friend’s house. The caravan of cars ahead of us had filed neatly into the driveway.
I peeled myself from the driver’s seat and went around the rear of my car. I figured I would investigate what was causing my ice chest to slingshot around my back seat like a bouncy ball. My friend had initially loaded the ice chest. Since I frequently stash things in my trunk (don’t worry, nothing that’s alive… wait that didn’t sound right), I knew there was no telling what I would rediscover when I opened that door.
Whew, it was only an old box. A half-opened old box labeled memories. Read the rest of this entry
About two weeks ago, I finally pep talked myself back in to my workout regime. I keep it rather basic. Walking and running intervals for cardio, a few push-ups and squats, and a lot of stretching. All was going well, and I had finally gotten over the don’t wants phase, when my shoes decided they didn’t like my knees and proceeded to launch full on warfare.
Last year I purchased a pair of Sketchers Shape-Ups. A couple of my friends swore up and down their asses were on the fast track to putting Jennifer Anniston’s to shame, so naturally I joined the ass bandwagon. I didn’t run much last year, but I did justify my lack of working out by doing all of my shopping in those backstabbing shoes. Because I never had an issue with them (besides that they really do nothing for improving your physique), I didn’t think twice about lacing up this year and hitting the pavement.
Wednesday, while at the gym, I started to notice a few strange sensations. Read the rest of this entry
The world is now a hungry food critic and you are a chef whose knowledge, skills, work experiences, and the like are now ingredients for a meal. Go.
Everyone owns a very specific and unique set of ingredients to offer the world. The world, in turn, is a hungry place. It has plenty of Ramen Noodles already stock piling in its pantry, and it certainly won’t tolerate canned corn beef hash. The world constantly yearns for new recipes. It doesn’t mind if the recipe is a classic, say spaghetti, as long as it has just the right taste. The world, also a daring eater, is willing to try exotic dishes just as long as they aren’t potentially fatal (think blow fish).
I personally don’t believe in the ability to concoct brilliant meals using just one or two ingredients. Read the rest of this entry