Safari

In honor of my 200th post on this blog, I treated myself to a Safari. In the exotic land of Shreveport, LA at a remote location. My parents’ house. Enjoy.

Remember this guy? I found out he is not alone…

With all of that bling, how can a monkey look so sad?

Let’s Make a Deal

Three orders of business today puppets:

1. A major thank you is due to Le Clown yet again for being my hero. He is the mastermind behind taking what started as a photography experiment and turning it into the outstanding piece of banner you see at the top of my page. What you see today is the final product of much work. And he did it through a drug haze. Let’s all show him extra love today.

2. Speaking of Le Clown, there is an important post today on his second blog Black Box Warnings. It’s important, because I wrote it. It is also important, because it was not easy. I struggled with how to write this post. I beat myself up for not being able to pull out the serious. I avoided it like it was an army of bullfrogs. If you don’t know I hate frogs, you do now. But I prevailed. So please, check it out. If you love me you will (said the abusive guilt tripping blogger).

3. More guilt tripping. If you missed my post and vlog yesterday, you need to stop slacking and go read/watch it, because I was kind of sort of maybe really definitely proud of it.

Enjoy!

25toFly 2.0

Photo by Lane Pelissier

Hello and welcome to 25toFly version 2.0. It is finally 2013, which not only marks a new year for clean slates but also my second year in blogging. It also marks the year in which I originally planned to move away from Louisiana. Thinking back upon the birth of my blog, I started to realize how much it has evolved over my first year. What began as an inspirational blog about moving away, quickly became a humor blog on everything from travel and frogs to the sexual encounters of my dear friend Mr. OB.

How I have evolved has also changed over the course of that year. My goals are different. I am different. What I concluded from all of this was that writing this blog was what I needed more than a uHaul. I just didn’t know it at first. I don’t know where I will end up by this time next year. I haven’t ruled out a move, but the urgency for moving away that I felt at the beginning of 2012 has subsided. Just like the many blog posts here that began without the slightest idea or outline, I know I will figure it out. And it will be good. Just keep doing.

Now that my blogging induced awakening has been shared, I can get back to what I have come to love to do here: write stuff that I think is funny and hope you think it is funny too. Here are some updates for the new year.

Back to The Basics

Good morning there puppets.

I simply wanted to write an update post today. I have been busily working on several projects for the up and coming year. One of them involves ventriloquism. One of them also involves a men’s urinal. What a combination, right? Those are the only hints I can give.

This weekend, be on the look out for the duo vlog from me and La La. There is something in it for you. We also think in the video, so you really don’t want to miss it.

On the morning of January 4th, my second article will go live on The Indie Chicks. It’s about that Color Run I didn’t actually run a while back, but it is also about expectations versus reality. I think we all can relate to that. Oh, and there is mention of slip-n-sliding so now you are required to read it.

There will be no fancy new blog theme for 2013. My blog avoids aesthetic improvements… much like your mom. Did you see that “your mom” joke that just happened?  Soak it up.

The end of this year has been really fun. Money was raised, there were shout outs galore, vlogs, blog parties, contests, special friendships, a few power couple formations, and I spontaneously combusted on ACOF.  

Picture This…

Why is there so much badassery going on in the WordPress crib right now? Is everyone not aware that December is supposed to be the Friday of the months of the year? It is supposed to be the free pass month for all things lazy, self-indulgent, and greedy. Y’all are messing that up for me (at least the lazy part), but you know what? It is worth it. Because I love you. There I said it.

Speaking of all things badass, there is yet another event happening that I couldn’t not participate in. Julie and Byronic Man, I am talking to you. I am after your sheets. If those reading this don’t know what I am talking about, that’s a shame, but I’ll forgive you if you visit one of their pages and educate yourself. So generous.

You see, just last night Jack decided to practice his own self indigent behavior. The little fellow wore himself out making confetti of my softest-sheets-ever and didn’t hesitate when he got to the pillow cases. To top it off, like a cherry on top of a resentment sundae, he puked right in the middle of the shredded pile and then pranced off to destroy the rest of my favorite things.

I may not sleep under my sheets, but they are still an integral component of the optimal sleep environment. So, come to think of it, I am not being greedy at all. I need those sheets. Plus, who wouldn’t want to sleep on top of one of Julie’s adorable chipmonks or the hottest guy on WordPress Byronic Man?

As the rules state, I have harnessed every ounce of holiday cheer to bring you the 25toFly Christmas Card. Here it is:

A special greeting for you at my family’s expense.

Do you know what it is like to have your photo taken at every worst possible moment? Have you ever experienced the trauma of being blinded by the flash in the middle of your mascara “O” face (you know you do this ladies)? It’s impressive, really. The man you all want to have a beer with so badly can even manage to take a bad picture of himself. You may still like my Dad more than you like me, but if you keep hanging out with him for too long, you can kiss your photogenic-ness goodbye.

Dad has been capturing our sweet little distorted mug shots since the 90’s!

As if this post didn’t including enough of y’alls favorite things (my dad, contests, sexy people) I am going to leave this (rough version) here for you to ponder. The placement of mistletoe is in no way suggestive of anything other than the pure Christmas spirit.

Just kidding. It’s sexual innuendo.

Related articles

• A Very Cheesy Christmas… (ayeshaschroeder.com)
• Iconic Photographer Steve McCurry Talks Blogging and WordPress (en.blog.wordpress.com)
• pictures of you (saxsilverain.wordpress.com)

Fun Was Had

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I must say theChive meet-up was everything that I hoped for.

When I got home, I realized a sneaky NOLA gnome had filled my bag with gold Mardi Gras beads and a solitary plastic cup that smelled of whiskey. I am just glad he didn’t fill it with dirty hobo socks and a half eaten shrimp po-boy like last time.

 

Related articles

• Recycled Mardi Gras Beads Make World’s Largest Mosaic (sierraclub.typepad.com)
• Mardi Gras Around the World (bellasugar.com)
• Bibles and booze mix Sunday mornings at iconic bar (miamiherald.com)

Make Your Camera Disposable, Not Your Adventure

[Hey, remember me? I know that I am responsible for that embarrassing picture your mom found of you and your high school boyfriend making out, but Instagram still ain’t got nothing on me.]

If you want to successfully relive your escapades, my suggestion is to invest in a disposable camera. You’re welcome Kodak. I carried out this plan as I traveled last month. If you have trouble finding one of these at your local store, just look next to the fanny packs and pocket protectors. I understand that disposable cameras are equivalent to reverting back to VHS, but I do have a sound argument for resorting to something so seemingly obsolete.

My trip marked my second time ever flying in an airplane, my first time traveling out of the south as an adult, and my first big vacation that I have funded entirely on my own. Naturally, I anticipate taking photos of my time there.

I know what you are thinking. Does she not have an omnipotent smart phone or something? Of course I do. What am I a cave woman? In fact, some would say I qualify as a camera phone abuser as I even take pictures of pictures. This is where the problem exists, and upon admitting my denial of said abuse, I did reach an epiphany.

I’ll See Your Air And Raise You a Jetty

[Hampton Beach sure did rock my world. That pun was just embarrassing. Can I get my groove back already?]

Northeast air seduced me from the moment I stepped out of Logan Airport. There was a blunt and intense sensation hitting me almost immediately that I could not ignore. I… I could breathe. The air was positively intoxicating as opposed to the suffocating sauna-like air that radiates the South. Instead of dragging around choking on the heat, I was frolicking about in a humidity-free trance. I couldn’t help but wonder how I might bottle it up and bring it home with me.

Rarely have I experienced a place with days warm enough to sport a tank top and shorts and nights that require a sweater (fleece jacket in my case). I always watched films in which this phenomenon occurred. The actress runs wildly in a bikini during the day scenes, and come nightfall, is cozied up in a big long-sleeved poncho on a porch somewhere. It always confused me. Now, I had full understanding of the different weather outside of Louisiana’s inferno. It is safe to say I fell in love with this aspect of the North, and I also must say my hair was looking mighty lustrous minus all the frizz action.

The beach in New Hampshire, where we spent a day before storming the city of Boston, was unlike any beach I’d ever seen.