Rule of Three

Rule of Three: The idea that things happen in threes… more specifically/especially negative things. Also known as the poison ivy of bad luck.

Someone needs to deliver me some calamine lotion stat, because I believe my Iphone and I just went through a bad case of this theory. This sort of thing is so familiar to me that I could feel it coming. When I initially was given the phone, it only took two blissful and carefree months before my hand-held jewel became shattered by the very clumsy hands that held it. Having received my Iphone as a birthday gift a couple of years ago, I guess it was only a matter of time before it met its fate again.

Misfortune #1 – Sitting on my balcony hammering away at my keyboard after work one day last week, I lost track of time. Exhausted and surely one mosquito bite away from West Nile disease, I decided to call it a night. My mind is stubborn and conceited in thinking I can carry more items than I have appendages. You should see me carry groceries in from the store. Making more than one trip is not an option.

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I was a complete slacker this weekend on the blog front. Hey, it was Easter weekend after all wasn’t it? Considering I had been looking forward to a three-day weekend so longingly, I was a bit disappointed. For starters, there wasn’t much going on. I had been fantasizing about activities in my head that I was going to partake in, none of which happened. Most friends were out of town visiting family, seeing the significant other, or working (shudder). This is a familiar scenario for me. Let me explain.

When there is a free day off of work, a party, an event, or anything that is particularly worthy of anticipating with excitement, it never seems to go as intended. This comes from building up expectations, in this weekend’s instance – a  three-day weekend non stop fun fest. When expectations fail to come to fruition, I end up feeling… blah. Every time this happens I recognize it immediately, nonetheless I continue to do it. Time after time I build it up.  Then, I started thinking about other little life lessons I never seem to learn from. Okay, more like lessons I do learn from but my brain chooses to perpetually ignore. Here are a few examples of this type of failing:

A Morning Battle

Tomorrow I am off. I am pretty elated… minus the monstrous bug invading my office this morning. So, I am trying something different/fun. Consider it a little GIF-t from me to you (hopefully). Also, keeping it short and sweet today. (Hint: you have to click the linked bits for maximum hilarity)

Upon waking up this morning, I was in chipper spirits. Today is Thursday playing dress up as Friday, which is always acceptable. As I took my jaunt in to work, I could see that everyone was sporting the glow that accompanies a short work week. I flung open the door to my office ready to don my thinking cap for the day. No sooner than I had cozy-ed in to my chair, I caught glimpse of something (actual photo) out of the corner of my eye. Suddenly my lackadaisical day became seriously disturbed.

Let the battle begin.

First thing was first. I had to develop my strategy. Only two options seemed to prove practical. To crush, or to tactically poison. With no sufficient smashing apparatuses, I prepared to gas the unfortunate crawler. I took my stare off of the intruder for only a moment to grab my trusty can of Bug Stop. I whipped back around to find my opponent charging straight for me. Action had to be taken immediately. No more pussy footing around. After preforming a few flawless squirms, I  succeeded in sealing its fate. Once the last leg ceased twitching, I peered up to find that I was being watched the whole time. A co-worker was apparently entertained by my battle. I proceeded to shoot him one of these. Fin.

Can you tell I have a slight obsession with GIFs? Compliments of Reddit and ReactionGifs.com

BONUS – Because I have no self control.