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Shakoolie: The Ultimate Shower Beer Experience

Some of you may remember when I shared the glorious secret to the perfect shower a while back. Apparently the shower (and beer) gods were listening, because just a few weeks ago a shower beer entrepreneur contacted me. If you haven’t heard of the universe shattering invention that is the Shakoolie, you are about to flip your shower caddie upside down and hump your shower curtain in sheer bliss.

The Shakoolie is a beer holder on steroids that sticks to the wall of your shower out of the soap and water while keeping it cool.

Shower beer

Holding your beer in the shower is for amateurs.

shower beer

I wish there was a solution!

When the experts of sipping and shampooing (inventors of the almighty Shakoolie) found me, an obvious shower beer advocate, and offered to send me my very own Shakoolie, my faith in serendipity was immediately restored. I knew I had to share my gift with the world. It was a crisp 8:00 am when I opened my mail box to hear angels singing and an entrancing halo emanating from inside. My Shakoolie had arrived.

After ripping open the concise packaging like a pathetic strong-woman competition, I was surprised at just how easy the set up appeared.

shower beer

Two steps. Two seconds. Too fucking cool.

Naturally, I have been keeping a reserve of canned Coors and some bottles of Heineken freshly stocked in the fridge like a kid hoarding cookies for the arrival of Santa ever since the news came of my impending shipment. I wanted to have options for testing. After all, this is technically a review rave.

I’ll be honest, upon sliding my full heiny into the shower, pun intended, I was slightly nervous about the give of the Velcro holding my nectar. But just as the brotastic Shakoolie logo didn’t disappoint me, neither did the Velcro. I took a good, solid fifteen minute shower. Temperature: boiling (the shower not the beer, dumb ass). Not as much as a single fiber gave way on the genius shower wall mount.

I haven’t even mention yet how the eradication of watered down shower beer has changed my life.

Before the Shakoolie, I looked like this trying to enjoy my shower beer:

shower beer

For every watery beer, an angel loses its wings

Now when I shower with my beer, I look like this:

shower beer

Thanks to Shakoolie, I no longer have to shower with an umbrella! Thanks Shakoolie!

Let’s face it, this product steals the lunch money of stocking stuffers everywhere. Not only did the creators put a genius twist on your average coozie and actually make it with quality materials good enough to withstand the slip and slide of your bathroom waterfall, but they even offer 007 shit like the Hidden Shot Flask and the Flask Tie. I’ve never wanted to wear a tie so badly in my life.

Thanks to Shakoolie for the free gift. I will cheers my bathroom wall every time I enjoy my brew there. The guys behind this thing are just the type of entrepreneurs I will always support, and not just because alcohol. I seriously think that this is a blast of a product. In fact, I know exactly what I am buying for everyone for every holiday and every birthday for the next year. For now, I am off to have my third shower of the day. Happy Monday Flysters!

Click here to share the showery beery goodness.

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This Is A Fourthcoming Post

Happy July 4th, 2013.

hit in face with roman candle

Don’t point Roman Candles at your dome 😦

As premature explosions were … exploding outside of the window, I started thinking about what the fourth means.

1st: The fourth means it is exactly 17 days until I turn 25. Ahem.

2nd: The fourth means Jack cements himself to the windowsill from sundown until the warfare of tonight fizzles out like the last kernels of popcorn dancing in the microwave. Let’s just hope nothing burns in the same fashion. Especially cat fur.

3rd: The fourth means beer (speaking of, I have a special shower beer surprise to share with you all next week!)

4th:

(see what I did there?)

5th and finally: The main meaning and reason to celebrate the fourth is the birth of Nathaniel Hawthorne. Unfortunately, Mike the Situation’s identical birth date will turn this celebration into a detention.

I think I just about covered all of the meanings of July 4th. I don’t think I missed anything. So happy pyro-ing Flysters. If you haven’t checked out the Blogger Interactive Facebook and Twitter pages, I’m not sharing my sparklers with you. Instead, I will throw those tiny white poppers of terror at your toesies. So check it out! If you’re good, I will also give you all the first peek at my first ever podcast with Peter Dewolf on The Pete Cast!

,.-~`*********`~-.,  (blog dud fireworks for everyone!)

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Shower Beer

Dude, my blog was kind of an ass last week huh? I finally gained some sort of control. It was actually quite simple to distract my blog so that I could post as me again. I simply opened a movie containing a lot of nudity on Netflix in one tab while I wrote this post in another. Apparently my blog has a problem with the ways in which I unwind in the privacy of my own home, so in spite of my blog hijacking last week, I am going to continue my lush activities. One being the shower beer.

Shower beer

Beaver says… even Michelob Ultra makes a good shower beer.

My coozie says beaver on it. It’s okay to laugh. I know that beavers are totally funny animals in general and really have nothing to do with naked girls taking showers, so I understand how hilarious it is. Beaver.

Now, if you notice in the left photo, I have made sure to censor my entire shoulder and not show any of my armpit either. That would have just been a tease. Plus, I know better than to expose myself like that on the internet. The plus side is that you can still say you have technically seen Becca in the shower. No one will know it was only from my shower beer up.

What is a shower beer you ask? The answer to all of your problems. That’s what. Had a bad day at work? Wash it away while you wash down your favorite lager. Just broke up with your boyfriend/girlfriend? Good, more beer for you and your shower. Didn’t make it to the gym today? Sweat it out under the scalding water with a Bud Select 55 and call it a day.

It isn’t just comforting in times of distress either. You can also resort to a shower beer in times of celebration. Someone bought you a free six-pack? It’s probably because you are charming and worthy, so have that first ice-cold brew under the cascades of your home-made waterfall. Had a sexy day? Make it even sexier with a shower beer. Finally quit your awful day job? Stay in the bathroom until all of the hot water is gone and down as many bottles as you can. You don’t have to wake up tomorrow!

Are you getting the point here? There is never a bad time for this ritual. This is the ultimate indulgence, and the best part is that no one is judging. Your shower head and shampoo bottle will never give you a hard time about downing that pomegranate raspberry Michelob while you scrub your guns and pecs with a pink loofah. You can even enjoy a bath beer in substitution for the shower beer without guilt. It still counts.

If you don’t drink, start drinking. Or as another alternative, grab an O’douls or maybe even a root beer and get naked. Either way, you deserve it.

ADDENDUM: This Thursday is Valentine’s Day. I am sure you are overly aware. The good news is that instead of posting some bitch-fest post, or gushing about a boyfriend, I did something much cooler and way less annoying. I got together with Adam over at My Right to Bitch headquarters, and we came up with a new tradition for the holiday. Be sure to tune in Thursday for our insane collaboration! 

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