Don’t you love a good conversation with your family on the Holidays? My family sure does…
Brother (from a room on the other side of the house): “Come help me, I don’t know how to wrap.”
Brother: “Come help me.”
Mom: “She said no.”
On shopping last minute…
Brother: “What can I get for Dad?”
Me: “He likes to be outdoors. You should get him a tent so he can camp out in the back yard.”
Brother: “He would probably love that.”
Me: “Or, a pillow for when he sleeps on the floor. I was joking about the tent.”
Brother: “I am going to get him slippers. If he doesn’t like them I will take them.”
Me: “I don’t think that is how it is supposed to work.”
Brother: “Do you have any money?”
Merry Christmas everyone. May all of your conversations be this deep.
People get down. People get irrational thoughts when they are down. People either break, or get through it. This weekend I thought a lot about two people. Tracy Fulks and Wayne. They both have overcome some things that are pretty much equivalent to that asteroid Bruce Willis had to blow up. I will stay firm in my belief that this is why the world didn’t end. Owe you one, Bruce. Anyway, I just wanted to recognize that there are some strong people around here. I look up to those people. Thinking about their battles and triumphs stops me when I begin to sulk over the petty.
Wayne gave me two awards recently which really boosted me, but I haven’t been able to participate in keeping those going. I think I made a subconscious decision not to participate in those anymore simply because I have too much already planned to work on. I feel a bit bad about this.
So here is what I am going to do. I am giving Wayne and Tracey my own personal award. The Fly Blog Award (holiday style). I am also giving it to Jillian, because she is one of the most supportive bloggers ever, and I know she will appreciate it. Basically, you can do whatever you want with the blabel. Use it as media in a post, put it on your sidebar, laugh at it and walk away, whatever. But, those are my own real long johns in the background, so treat them with care. Don’t worry, you don’t have to kiss anyone’s crotch either. Unless you want to…
You can pass it on or not. If you chose to pass it along, there are no award rules except that you can only pass it to one person that embodies your definition of fly. Give that person the spotlight they deserve. You don’t have to answer any questions, thank me personally on your blog, or link back to me. Read the rest of this entry
My last post bestowed upon the world can not be a repost about fucking Tuesdays. I just can’t allow that to happen. It’s pathetic. Instead I made a meme, because Jen said they are cool, and we are a power couple, so there.
If you are a logical human being, you don’t think the world will suddenly end tomorrow in a clusterfuck of literally earth shattering natural phenomenons that will eventually result in me getting into a plane with John Cusack and an amateur pilot.
I am one of those logical people (reluctantly because I have a serious lady boner for John Cusack).
This doesn’t mean, however, that I will not use the ridiculous prediction to my advantage to get away with all kinds of unacceptable behavior between now and December 22nd. You should take advantage of this too. In fact, I started last night. Here are some examples to give your mind a head-start on coming up with risky ideas. Read the rest of this entry
It’s payday, so I got to go drop off my check at the bank: WIN
So did everyone else in the entire city, at the very same bank: FAIL
I got a really rare flavored Dum Dum sucker from the teller: WIN
I left it in the tube: FAIL
I ignored my better judgement and decided to eat McDonalds: WIN
I realized I have a problem with french fries when the lady in the car next to me sheilded her children’s eyes from the sight of me smashing them into my face: FAIL
I checked my WordPress app to see I have exceeded 19, 000,000 views: EPIC WIN
I am utterly dilusional: EPIC FAIL
Nothing fell out of my Big Mac when I removed it from the box: WIN
I Immediately bit into a pickle: FAIL
I found honey to dip my obesity sticks in: WIN
My fingers now stick to the keyboard: FAIL
Remember kids, french fries should never be eaten individually, but always in groups.
It feels good to be back to silly.
- Get Behind Thee French Fries (overbookedandunderpaid.typepad.com)
- How McDonald’s Makes Its Delicious French Fries [Video] (gizmodo.com)
- Portion Distortion (loveniki.wordpress.com)