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Letters to Those Involved

My phone miraculously disappeared at some point on the night of Saturday 01/26/2013. It’s whereabouts were finally recovered at approximately 6:30 pm Monday night. After I wrote this post…

missingphone

Dear stranger and/or really bad friend who took my phone,

I hope you didn’t hack my Iphone security code, although it would have only taken you something like 15 million different guesses. I figure that you could have easily try 30 different combinations every minute, which means it would have only taken you a little less than a year to figure it out if the last number you guessed was the correct one. Obviously that doesn’t make any sense, even if it was correct math. But if you got lucky and gained access on your first try, there are things that you need to know:

I am not responsible for the last search in my internet browser. Any voice memos of singing are also a mystery and definitely not me. And, if you even try to tinker with my blog I will find you, and I will kill you. Got it?

Dear AT&T sales guy,

I do not usually look like a frantic homeless person. My hair was still pretty though, right? I was impressed.

I think it is ridiculous that you can not help me locate my Iphone using all of that technology stuff, but Facebook on the other hand, always knows precisely where I am and isn’t afraid to tell everyone without my discretion.

And just so you know, you probably made the easiest sale of your life Sunday morning. You can thank Jim Beam and the gay men of the Krewe of Apollo.

Dear Canes Chicken Fingers,

I have nothing bad to say about you. You were delicious, and for a brief moment while I was stuffing my face of you, I forgot about everything that I lost that day.

After writing such a dramatic post and finally finishing re-downloading all of my apps onto my new Iphone, I got the call that my phone was recovered. Shit happens.  

becca cord signature

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Rule of Three

Shattered Iphone Screen

Rule of Three: The idea that things happen in threes… more specifically/especially negative things. Also known as the poison ivy of bad luck.

Someone needs to deliver me some calamine lotion stat, because I believe my Iphone and I just went through a bad case of this theory. This sort of thing is so familiar to me that I could feel it coming. When I initially was given the phone, it only took two blissful and carefree months before my hand-held jewel became shattered by the very clumsy hands that held it. Having received my Iphone as a birthday gift a couple of years ago, I guess it was only a matter of time before it met its fate again.

Misfortune #1 – Sitting on my balcony hammering away at my keyboard after work one day last week, I lost track of time. Exhausted and surely one mosquito bite away from West Nile disease, I decided to call it a night. My mind is stubborn and conceited in thinking I can carry more items than I have appendages. You should see me carry groceries in from the store. Making more than one trip is not an option. Read the rest of this entry

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