Blog Archives

Kill You With A Smile

hitman

Yes, I am just happy to see you. [You can thank Le Clown for Photoshopping this].

So, I have learned something. I would be a horrible riddle book writer. Apparently, not only was my post yesterday thrown together too late, but my clues were too easy, and that asshole Aneroidocean ruined the what I thought would be fun little guessing game for everyone (by the way, can you please stop being an asshole and write an about me page already?).

To everyone else, please accept my new look and bulging crotch as an apology. Sorry Rich. Am I ruining your session?

None of this matters of course, because I am still basking in the glow of my own little session. The past two nights have been an ongoing threesome between me, my TV, and my PS3. All of my buttons were pushed (literally) and all parties reached their checkpoints, if you know what I mean. All I know is that I am glad it is finally the weekend, because these late nights aren’t doing anything for my complexion (as you can see above).

On another less weird note, Jillian Levi is at it again. She won a bunch of those awards and mentioned me as a nominee for this thing:

Blog of the Year Award banne

When I should really be winning creepiest post title of the year.

Like with the last award someone tossed down to me, I won’t participate in paying this forward, because… it takes too much time. I am just being honest here. Plus, I wouldn’t want people thinking I am actually a decent blogger who helps encourage others. I am a hitman now god dammit. Read the rest of this entry

Cutting the Cord with Cable

When I am not intimidating big burly off-shore men as safety personnel by day, or out getting my billiards on at night, you can usually find me at home. More specifically in these two places:

Kitchen

Blacony sunset

I have composed a short list of things I do when I am at my pad: (Note: all of these activities are performed while listening to the radio, my Ipod, or Pandora and usually a combination of all three. There are many pirouettes, hair whips, and running sock slides accompanying these activities as well. I have all wooden floors, so it’s only fair to use them.)

1. Read, write, Reddit, Chive, Facebook, Twitter, etc. Basically I do the Internet.

2. Cook… or pull out every snack item I own in attempts to put together a quasi-meal instead of cooking. The majority of the time I actually do cook, but come on, even award winning chefs get lazy right?

3. Sit on my balcony drinking wine while on the phone for extended periods of time, usually with Booger. You see, all of my friends decided to abandon me simultaneously, like I am the riot gun and they are the rubber bullets, so the phone time is essential .

4. Clean.

5. Chase around this ferocious and boisterous beast that refuses to accept that my kitchen counters are not his personal play towers.

Cat

There is more, but those are the main events at club Becca. What’s the point in me telling you this? Read the rest of this entry

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